The Wales

The End

2007-09-22T16:57:00.000-04:00

At this point I am going to officially quit blogging indefinitely. It was fun but I have too much on my plate. If, in the future, I feel that I need to let my opinion be known, I will certainly come back to this page. For now, take care and God bless. If you really want to find out what I'm up to, look me up on Facebook.

Roasting Marshmallows

2007-06-09T18:29:00.001-04:00

I was unable to post this until now for fear of repercussions; names have been omitted to protect the guilty. Last October, one of my coworkers at my former part time job told me that she had always wanted to roast marshmallows at the Piedmont Natural Gas building in downtown Greenville. To make the point that it is a gas company, the water fountain has flames coming out of the top of it.

So in March I was again scheduled to work with this coworker, who will remain unnamed for her safety and job security, and I brought along a long stick and she brought some marshmallows. At about 3:00 in the morning we took turns roasting some marshmallows over the flame.

I know, I know. The first rule in rulebreaking is "If you ever break the rules, don't take pictures of yourself breaking the rules." I am aware. I should point out that in spite of the enormous policy book that we had, it did not mention anything about roasting marshmallows over flaming fountains in it.

Well, I quit my job with that service so I thought I would post this picture. The marshmallows were good by the way.

Cutting Board

2007-05-03T11:38:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures of my most recent project and my newly (somewhat) organized shop/shed/storage building. The cutting board is made from maple, cherry and walnut. The finish is walnut oil.

Swimming in 38 Degree Water

2007-04-24T21:11:00.001-04:00

This past weekend, I flew up to Maine to compete in the annual Kenduskeag Stream Race in Bangor, Maine; it's a 16.5 mile race over water that ranges from still to class IV rapids. There were about 500 canoes and kayaks and over 800 contestants overall. Dad and I were in an old aluminium Boy Scout canoe that he bought just for this race.

It was a timed event with 5 teams starting every minute. We were number 332 and we had to wait a little over an hour for our turn.

We made very good time in the first 10 miles and passed through several small rapids. However, the stream was higher that it has ever been since they started the race 41 years ago and the water was moving very fast over the notorious Six Mile Falls. About three quarters of the people who ran the falls capsized; Dad and I were among them. There is always a large crowd gathered at this spot to watch the spills (they are called vultures). Between the vultures and the families of the contestants, there were several hundred people lined up on the bridge overlooking the falls.

We capsized at the first set of falls and floated for about 200 yards through the rapids. I think I hit every rock on the way down. We held onto the canoe to try to keep our heads above the water which worked pretty well. Did I mention the water was kind of cold?

As we neared the bridge I waved to the crowd and attempted to nonchalantly say "I decided to take a swim because I was getting a little hot." It came out kind of squeaky though.

Just downstream of the bridge was a rescue canoe that was tied off to someone up on the bridge. The person on the bridge was supposed to move back and forth and let out line to help the guy in the canoe snag people coming through (the rescuers were hopelessly overwhelmed by the number of people in the water). As we got close to him, the rescuer in the boat yelled up to the guy on the bridge "Give me more rope! I need more rope!" For some unknown reason, they couldn't let him out any more and he couldn't get over far enough to get Dad, so Dad and the canoe floated on down the river. I was able to get just far enough over to catch the rescue canoe and he was able to drag me over to shore. (Notice in this picture that Dad is in the water with the canoe there are four empty canoes and only one still upright; that's about the way it was all day)

From there I met up with Annie, Lianna, and Mom and we started trying to catch up with Dad. I started hiking downstream through the brush and finally caught up to Dad after about 25 minutes or so- but he was on the other side of the river so I hiked back up to the bridge and met him. He had been in the water significantly longer than I had been and was pretty cold. We finally met up with Mom and changed into our dry clothes.

Since it had taken so long to do all that, we knew we were done as far as the race was concerned. Plus, our canoe had two large dents in it and some rivets had pulled out of the ribs so our canoe would no longer float anyways so we called it a day and headed off to Olive Garden.

I did find out one interesting tidbit though. When I passed under the bridge my mother and sisters had run across the bridge to watch us come out the other side. In doing so, my mother had walked up to the railing and leaned over -standing on the rescue line. So when the rescuer in the canoe had been yelling for "MORE ROPE," my dear mother was standing on that very same rope that was supposed to save me.

We had a good time and survived without any major injuries. We were pretty sore the next day though. Dad lost his hat, his glasses and his designer contoured paddle. I lost my sunglasses. We also learned some valuable lessons for next time.

Here are some articles about the race:

Bangor Daily News

Channel 2 video clip go to THIS LINK and fast forward to about 8:15

Sarah's New Business

2007-04-09T18:29:00.000-04:00

Over the last few months, Sarah has been making beaded jewelry for her self; she is very creative with her designs. Then she started bringing them to work and selling them to her coworkers. She has recently teamed up with a friend who makes baskets and they have gone into business together. They will be selling their products at the fairs and festivals in this area, starting with the "Azalea Festival" in Pickens on April 21st.

They also have a very sharp-looking website that will eventually have PayPal and Ecommerce for online sales. Their website is: www.basketsfullofbeads.com/.

March

2007-03-16T15:16:00.000-04:00

In addition to Caffeine Awareness Month, March is also the official National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. At fist, I wasn't going to touch this one . . . but I couldn't resist. The Cancer Research and Prevention foundation promotes awareness of colon cancer and recommends regular colonoscopies and other preventative procedures. I went to their website and was greeted with a picture and description of their Super Colon. They describe it as "an inflatable 20-foot long and 8-foot high replica of the human colon. As visitors walk through the display, they get an up close look at healthy colon tissue." There are so many jokes I could make about this . . . Use your imagination so I can avoid the complaints I would surely get.

March is also National Noodle Month, National Nutrition Month and Kidney Month. March 5th is Multiple Personalities Day (should there be several days for that?). March 20th is Extraterrestrial Abduction Day. March 31st is Bunsen Burner Day. There are also several that I can't mention, but I really laughed about when I read them.

Today is St. Urho Day. Who is St. Urho? I'm glad you asked. According to legend, he used a pitchfork to skewer thousands of locusts out of Finnish grape vineyards, thus saving the farmers from losing their crops. He is now known as the official saint of grasshopper eradication.

To celebrate St. Urho Day you should wear purple and green to symbolize the grasshoppers and the grapes they never got to eat; you should also go to a lake shore and chant "Heinäsirkka, heinäsirkka, meine täättä hiiteen," which roughly translated means "Grasshopper, grasshopper, get out of here." He has a statue in Minnesota honoring him. He is depicted carrying a pitchfork with an enormous grasshopper impaled on it.

March 27th is National Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day. Grab some of your most redneck, backwoods friends (you'd better not call me) and line dance to the likes of "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose" by Little Jimmie Dickens, "You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly" by Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, "You're the Hangnail in My Life (And I Can't Bite You Off)" by Hoyt Axton, and "Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart" by Johnny Cash.

Make sure to celebrate all of our national observances. To save time, combine the celebrations. Just line dance in a large, diseased colon while yelling Finnish obscenities at grasshoppers. (If you do, make sure to send me pictures!)

Happy Conspiracy Month!

2007-03-14T16:27:00.000-04:00

Whoa! A post! Don't pass out or anything.

I have a very serious matter that I need to bring up. Since the assassination of JFK our country has been obssessed with conspiracy theories and rumors of what "really happened." The Discovery Channel has been running a show recently on Area 51. It's an hour long and shows various camera shots from outside the super secret base while they basically say "We have no clue what went on in here" (past tense is intentional; the actual Area 51 facility has been shut down and moved into a less accessable, more remote part of Nevada. Or so they say . . .).

There is a conspiracy afoot to undermine the very foundations of our country and I have discovered it and am about to expose it. The conspiracy is disguised under the very innocent sounding title of "Caffeine Awareness Month." Don't be fooled by the innocuous sounding name (Matt, here is a link you may need to check out), it is hiding a very sinister plot.

Instead of celebrating the many billions of extra hours that Americans have worked only through the liberal use of caffeine, this is an attempt to defame the much beloved chemical component in most of our country's favorite drinks. The perpetrator is the Caffeine Awareness Alliance(CAA), whose mission is to "To raise public awareness, to provide advocacy and education, to publish and to advance research on behalf of those affected by this ubiquitous drug." (Again, Matt, click here) Their website attacks caffeine as "dangerous" and "addicting" and compares it to drugs like cocaine and meth.

Let's look at caffeine. In its pure form (Oh, that they would sell it like that!) it is a white crystalline powder. It was first discovered in coffee in 1820. Its chemical formula is C8H10N4O2 which tells us that it contains two atoms of oxygen, which is good for you. It works by blocking a chemical called adenosine in your brain; adenosine slows down your heart rate, nerve impulses, and causes drowsiness. High doses of adenosine will immediately stop a heart; do you really want adenosine working in your brain?

Americans drink over 450,000,000 cups of coffee a day. Without that extra boost of adenosine-fighting power, what would happen to our country's work force? To our national security?

Without caffeine you would have no paramedics, police officers, military (except for pilots-they can't drink it before flying), nurses, or ER doctors. America would literally fall asleep while radical terrorists walked in and took over like our nation was some giant version of Sleeping Beauty's castle (Disney analogies, the curse of having much younger siblings).

Imagine America with no freedoms being led by lethargic puppet zombies being controlled by radicals with their own best interest in mind. Oops, my bad. That's the scenario if Hillary is elected. The "no caffeine" scenario would be pretty bad too.

We must fight back. Grab a Vault in one hand and a triple shot espresso in the other hand and fight back against these unpatriotic Americans. Exercise your rights and enjoy your freedoms while they last.

Starbucks anyone?

"It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity."
Dave Barry

Hockey

2007-03-02T17:52:00.001-05:00

My friend Jared has been encouraging me to go play hockey with him sometime at the Pavilion in Greenville but I haven't been able to fit it into my schedule until today. In spite of having grown up in Maine, my skating skills are marginal at best. I did play a little pick-up hockey at Northland but that was seven years ago. I'm pretty limited in what I can do on skates. I can't skate fast, turn sharp corners or stop without hitting a wall so I knew in advance that I would not be mistaken for Wayne Gretsky.

I figured out very quickly that I could use the hockey stick to support myself when I started to lose balance. Other than that, the stick didn't get much use. We skated around for a little while first so everyone could warm up. "Fat boy" here was tired before everyone else was warmed up. I did learn a little though. I found that if I had control of the puck and I was able to skate towad the goal at a leisurely pace, I could get it in past the goalkeeper; it was a different story once the game started.

At one point I was getting comfortable charging the goalie with the puck and shooting. I made a few and missed a bunch. So I decided to try to fake him out and shoot from a little closer. I got up speed and moved the puck back and forth well. I waited until I was really close and then . . . realized I wasn't going to be able to stop in time (see first paragraph). I took the shot which went wide and promptly crashed right into the goalie. I'm pretty hard headed so normally I would win a head-to-head collision, except when the other guy is wearing a helmet and face shield. So I've got a nice little bruise under my left eye.

Once the actual game started I barely got near the goal. I scored two goals off rebounds (are they called that in hockey?) and stole the puck once (twice actually but apparently picking up the puck and sticking it in my shirt doesn't count as stealing). Most of the time I managed to miss when it was passed to me and as I turned to get it I would keep turning and turning and turning and fall over.

By the time I made it from one end to the other the action on that end was usually over and everyone else was going the other way. On one such occasion, I had barely made it to the half(court, rink, field) line when they started coming back. I turned around and headed the other way just as the puck was passed to me. I was way ahead of the nearest defender so I got closer (not too close, I had already tried that once) and set up for my shot . . . and fell flat on my face. From then on, whenever I got the puck I would look up and see the goalkeeper set up his lawn chair and start cranking out strawberry daquiris with his blender.

I had a good time though. I will definately have to play again and see if I can improve my skating a little. I should get more protective gear though. . .

February

2007-02-27T05:03:00.000-05:00

Well, life's been busy lately. I haven't had much time to kick back and relax since about Christmas time. In addition to my normal work load, I have taken one class and taught five classes.
In place of something original and creative, which I am terribly short of right now, here is a little story that will warm your heart while we wait for baseball season to start.

A Red Sox fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Yankees fan he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious NY pinstripe shirt. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them.

One day, while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road.

Suddenly, the driver saw a Yankees fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. Not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything.

He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "Sorry, Father, I almost hit that Yankees fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."

FF Champ!

2007-02-12T14:02:00.000-05:00

In the last ten years or so the world of fantasy sports has become huge. I guess it's mainly for us guys(and girls) who need competition. It's not enough to cheer for our football team and against our friends' football team. We have to have something of our own to trash talk about. Since most of us cannot afford to buy a pro sports team, we settle for our "fantasy team."

If you're not familiar with the way this works, here it is: you get together with a group of your friends or coworkers (or in my case, some guys-and one girl-from church) and you have a draft. You take turns going around and picking players from the NFL that you think will do well. Based on your players' performances in real life each week, your fantasy team scores points. For instance, I had Peyton Manning this year. Every time he threw a touchdown, my team got 6 points. If you outscore the team you are pitted against, you win. Simple right?

Well, we survived another year of trash talking and nail biting (we're all still friends) and in the end I ended up winning the trophy. This makes my trash talking much more potent next year. Anyways, here is a picture of me, Carina, and the trophy.

Winter was here!

2007-02-02T14:04:00.000-05:00

The weather forecasters here in South Carolina threaten us with snow several times a year but we usually only get snow once every winter or two. This time they were right. Yesterday morning, while I was sleeping soundly, Sarah got up to get ready for work and found that our subdivision had become a little "winter wonderland." She promptly came running into the bedroom and scared the living daylights out of me (it wasn't too hard because daylight hadn't even come yet) and told me I had to come look outside.

Well, needless to say, it was quite pretty. One snowfall a year is enough for me but I did enjoy it while it lasted. Carina was a little hesitant to go out in it but she followed me out into the snow and started rolling in it.

By 8:00am the snow had turned to rain and most of the snow is already gone. That's the way it goes in the South. Winter came yesterday. Spring came today.

Asheville

2007-01-15T18:43:00.000-05:00

Sarah and I both had the day off today- a truly rare occasion- so we headed up to Asheville, NC for a walk around the city. Asheville is the home of the Biltmore Estate and is known for its art galleries and crafts. I was looking forward to the bookstores I had been hearing all about and the furniture stores that sell hand made furniture from the area.

After a brief visit to the Chamber of Commerce, we parked and hiked around the city. We visited the Grove Arcade, a large building constructed to hold several stories of shops and services. It is essentially an elegant version of a modern day mall. My favorite store was "The Big Cheese" which, surprisingly, sold a variety of cheeses. We sampled several and bought some yogurt cultured jalapeno pepper cheese and some cranberry stilton. The stilton was, by far, my favorite; Sarah prefers the spicier cheeses.

We visited two of the three major bookstores in town and we made a few purchases. I hesitated to buy too much since I didn't feel like lugging a ton of books around town. I was somewhat disappointed with the furniture shops in town; the quality wasn't quite what I expected. Maybe it's because I visited a Thos. Moser showroom two weeks ago.

It seemed Asheville also had an antique shop on each corner. One shop was almost exclusively antique, hand carved imports from Southeast Asia. Some of those were quite impressive.

The rain held off and our legs held up well into the afternoon. Actually, the rain never came but our legs gave out eventually. We came home and finished off our day with some steaks and asparagus on the grill. Not bad for a day off.

I will try to update more . . .

GO PATRIOTS!!!!!

Christmas in Maine

2007-01-04T14:31:00.000-05:00

Sarah and I returned Saturday from a brief trip to Maine for Christmas. We have long since given up on driving there, especially in the winter. An interesting tidbit- the first leg of our flight was from Charlotte to Atlanta. About 10 minutes into the flight I started recognizing places on the ground- the Cliffs at Glassy, Sarah's bank, the great empty area in Dacusville, Lake Keowee. It was pretty cool to actually recognize buildings from the air.

Sunday my parents' church had a Christmas program and Annie and Lianna had a big part in it. They are extremely talented musicians. Dad did a Scripture reading and then Dad, Mom and the girls sang a song together.

We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas with my immediate family and my aunts. This Christmas was not a white Christmas, but it was cold. We got our first snow on Tuesday, but most of it melted by the end of the week. (The first picture at taken from the end of my parent's driveway and the second is at the Carrabassett River about a mile away.)

Lianna and I went skiing at Saddleback Mountain on Thursday. There was a lot more snow up near the mountain. About half of the trails were open and we had a great time. Thursday evening we had some lobster and potatoes. The perfect day!

I had a great week relaxing, freezing, and torturing the girls. That's what a good Christmas vacation is all about. Of course the big snow came while we were on our way to Boston on Saturday. There was no snow when we left but there was about 4-5 inches of accumulation by the time we got to Boston.

Christmas is Almost Here!

2006-12-20T10:28:00.000-05:00

We have been very busy lately with all of the festivities of the Christmas season. On Saturday we had a progressive dinner, which if you don't know, it is a multiple-course meal and all the courses are at different people's houses. I had never heard of them until we moved down here but then I realized that it wouldn't be very practical in Maine. We started at our house and had our appetizer, basically some finger foods. At the next house, we had French onion soup, then baked garlic chicken at the "entree house." We had quite the selection of desserts at the last stop. It was a lot of fun and the most we had to drive between courses was 10 minutes.

I was invited to a tool sale last week for employees of TTI, who makes Rigid and Ryobi tools. It was held at one of their warehouses and everything was at least 50% off. I loaded up. I bought a jointer, a belt sander, a biscuit jointer (nothing to do with baking), a chainsaw, a couple canvas tool bags, and a router table. Once I got it all home, my messy shed became full and messy.

So . . . my project these last few days has been to get my shed cleaned out and useable. I built a 10 foot long workbench against one wall and started to organize everything. It looks much better now and it's fully useable. I even built something today that used most of my tools. I can't tell what it is; it's a Christmas present for someone. I'll add a picture later (probably Friday).

Thanksgiving to Now

2006-12-02T22:11:00.000-05:00

So the last few weeks have been busy. Sarah's brother and his wife came and visited us for Thanksgiving last week. We had a great time with them visiting. Of course we ate a ton of food and had a great time. Other than cooking and eating, I spent most of my Thanksgiving watching football and playing football.

The weather has been beautiful the last few weeks; it's hard to believe it's the first week of December. Sarah bought me a new jacket last week and I've been wanting to wear it but the weather has not been cooperating at all. The lowest it's gotten in the last week was 60. It's down in the 40s tonight so I finally got my chance to wear my jacket.

Today we went to the Biltmore Estate and got to see the Christmas decorations. It was VERY crowded as the Christmas season is always their busiest. It may be the biggest house in America (the house itself covers 4 acres), but it wasn't designed for 5600 people (the number of people arriving between opening and 1:00pm today), so it was a bit crowded. The decorations were very classy and the house still amazes me, even though this was our third visit.

We got to enjoy a rare day off together. Back to work tomorrow . . .

The Encyclopedia of Wierd and Tacky Gifts

2006-11-17T20:45:00.000-05:00

We received a new catalog in the mail today called "What on Earth?" The named turned out to be very accurate as that was my most common reaction as I browsed through the catalog tonight. (I would like to enter a disclaimer here: there are one or two items that are not unbearably tacky; so if you have one, don't be offended). I would really like to meet the person who is in charge of their purchasing department. On second thought, no I don't.

First let's address the T-shirts. There are over 100 different designs of T-shirts, most of them with simple text on the front. You know, the ones that force you to stare at someone's chest as you walk by and try to read them only to be disappointed by it not being as funny as it could have been. "I've stopped listening- why haven't you stopped talking?" "Good Morning is an oxymoron." "I never make mistakes. I thought I did once. But I was Mistaken." "dain bramaged." "I'd listen to you but ignoring you is so much easier." Sure, some of the sayings are funny, but remember that your torso (including your shirt) and your face is usually one of the first things people notice about you, right after the long piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe. What are you advertising about yourself?

Maybe you don't care what you are advertising about yourself because you are too excited about the plaque on page 16 that says "Mess with me, you mess with the whole trailer park." Yep, that pretty much tells me what I need to know about this magazine's target market (here I go on target markets again). Why did they send it to me? The only periodicals I receive are Sports Illustrated and Sporting News and I only intentionally receive LL Bean catalogs. Have I done anything to suggest that I would be interested in this stuff? Oh wait . . . I feel better now; it's addressed to Sarah (it's not her style either though).

Would you be interested in a toilet handle shaped like a gear shift? How about a nose hair trimmer shaped like a finger? Or maybe you feel up to a little culinary adventure with the Twinkies Cookbook. Maybe you are dying to have "Walter the Farting Dog" that is "complete with disturbingly realistic sound effects." Ironically, I have a coworker named Walter who has the same problem. Hmmm . . .

There's the Photo-opoly board where you can submit the photos of your life for properties. That would be fine as long as my mother didn't order it for me; I can imagine her choice of pictures.

"You landed on the picture of me riding my bouncy horse in the nude (age 3, by the way); with that hotel on there, it's gonna cost you."

"Let's see, I landed on . . . Oh look, there's me at three in the morning during my 12th birthday party sleepover; I'd like to buy it."

There's also a wallet that looks like it's made out of bacon- in case you forgot to have your morning dose of artery-clogging cholesterol. Any ladies interested in an "embroidered velvet fanny pack"? The "adjustable waist strap extends to 46."

If your garden lacks that certain "something" you can get the "Wizard of Oz Garden Stakes" with Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Lion, and the Scarecrow all on their own stake, ready to be placed in your garden to keep an eye on your flowers. I recommend putting them in with your poppies.

Even though Halloween is over, you should make sure to pick up "The Elvis Impersonation Kit . . . complete with sideburns, sunglasses, a chunky ring, instructions and a karaoke CD." If your family doesn't already hate you enough, this is the gift for you.

This brings me to the piece de resistance. Do you remember the 1983 classic "A Christmas Story"? Remember the part where the father wins a mail-in prize? It arrives in a crate and, to the horror of his wife, he eagerly displays it in his front window for all the neighbors to see. That's right! You can have your own "Leg Lamp" for the low, low price of $199.00. You may think that this is a waste of money. "That money could have been spent on much wiser purchases," you say. Well, at least we know that anyone who would buy one of these would not have spent that money on anything wiser had they withstood the temptation to purchase this fine piece of home decor.

I could go on and on, but I think you've got the idea.

Plus, I need to go. I have three T-shirts that I have to buy. They fit me . . . to a "T."
"Just be happy I'm not a twin."
"I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying."
"Just another sexy bald guy."

Test Day

2006-11-10T19:48:00.000-05:00

There are three levels of emergency medical technician (EMT); EMT Basic, EMT-Intermediate, and Paramedic. Each progressive level involves more training, more responsibility, and typically, more pay. At the end of the initial training for each level, the student has to take a two part test designed by the National Registry of EMTs.

The first part of the test is a practical, "hands-on" test in which the student must demonstrate on a real person, in front of an examiner, that they are competent at their level (there are some skills that would be not be demonstrated on a real person because it would be unpleasant; we use manikins for those).

The other part of the test is a written exam, usually administered the day after the practical exam; the student must pass the practicals to take the written exam. It is 150 questions for the EMT Basic and Intermediate and 180 for the Paramedic level.

Recently, I have begun working as an examiner in the practical examinations. This usually involves sitting at a table, watching the students demonstrate their skills, and grading them based on their performance. They have to score a 70% and not commit any of the "critical fails." Overall, it's a good way to standardize the testing to make sure that all of these potential health care providers are prepared to operate a mobile ER with no direct supervision.

The students who are going through the testing process don't share my high regard for the National Registry Exam. This exam rates up pretty high on a person's list of "most nerve-racking moments." It's right behind "#1. When my parachute didn't open at first" and right before "#3. The first time I got pulled over by the police." There is a simple reason for this- in any other field, if you studied hard, received good grades and proved yourself competent during your internship, you would be guaranteed to graduate. Not in EMS.

When I walk into the building in the morning, I pass through the classroom where the students are waiting. The tension is beyond "palpable." The students that have been cutting up in class and joking around for the entire class are dead silent. The class clown's hands are shaking. Every once and a while someone will crack a joke relating to how nervous they are (like "I wish I had brought some more Valium") and some nervous laughter will break out, but it dies down quickly as if they were in a funeral and had just joked about the deceased.

The mention of Valium only makes matters worse as they start thinking about the questions that could be on the test regarding Valium.

"What are the indications for Valium?"
"What are the contrindications for Valium?"
"What is the dose for Valium?"
"What is the PEDIATRIC dose for Valium?"

As the questions start rolling in their head the notes start coming out and the cramming starts again.

After I pass through the classroom I walk into the lobby where the other examiners are gathering. Here the atmosphere is much more relaxed (for some reason). Many of us have worked the night before so the coffee pot is drained as soon as it is filled (the coffee pot in the back of the classroom never gets touched on test day; I wonder why). After a few minutes of waiting we are all assigned to stations and we go make sure everything is set up and ready to roll.

You can tell which students really took Valium and which just joked about it (I only joked about it, by the way). The ones who really did look relaxed but have a harder time with recall; the other ones' hands are shaking and they stutter as they talk.

In October I tested a group of Paramedic students. One of them told me afterwards that I was very intimidating. She said I "stared at her face the whole time." Frankly, I thought men usually got in trouble for not doing that. Oh well.

I really do enjoy being an examiner, even when I have to fail people. It's a good experience for me and it helps to keep me sharp on skills that I don't use every day.

Am I Getting Old?

2006-11-08T14:52:00.000-05:00

I was watching the Food Network yesterday afternoon and I was struck with a horrific possibility. I may be getting old. It was bad enough when all of my friends started getting married; surely I wasn't old enough to have friends getting married. Then we started spending time with couples a little older than us who have kids. Now, we hang around couples who are our age and they have one or two kids.

While browsing through the blogs of friends of mine from college, I have noticed that most of them have kids as well. One guy who was in my freshman class has three kids. Something is wrong here- I'm not old enough to have friends with children. Or am I in denial?

Back to the Food Network. The show I was watching had just gone to a commercial break and I noticed that instead of the Dodge, Ford, Chevy, and GMC commercials I am used to while watching ESPN, I was being treated to Fisher Price commercials. I laughed for a second and thought about the target market that these commercials were aimed for. Most likely the majority of people watching cooking shows at 4:00 in the afternoon are stay-at-home moms. I am way too young to be targeted with commercials about children's toys. Right?

I know what you are thinking. Yes, I realize that I am going bald. But that's just genetics, not age. Right?

As a child I always thought of 30 as old. I greet my father (respectfully) with "Hey, old man," to which he usually replies "hey boy." I've called my mother "old lady" on occasion (as long as I was at least an arm's length away). But now I am not that far from 30. Can it be that I am getting old too?

After mulling this over, I have come to a conclusion. I am not old. My receding hairline is premature. My friends are too young to have children. Way too young. Being targeted for Fisher Price commercials was just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

In all seriousness, my musings over the last few days about this topic have coincided with a posting from my friend Dave; read his post if you get a chance (link here). My elderly patients tell me often "don't get old, there's no future in it" and "time goes by so fast." I keep busy; working at work, working around the house, spending time with Sarah, hanging out with friends. No matter how busy we are, we can always find time for what is important to us. Am I using my time wisely- "Redeeming the time, because the days are evil"? If I had to give an account today for how I used my time, would I be proud of how I spent my free time?

Are you using your time wisely? Are you putting off thinking about life after death because you don't think it will happen anytime soon? I can assure you that we have no guarantee of another day. Death is a reality for all of us. If you have any questions about eternity, don't assume you have 30-40 more years to get them answered.

I actually didn't intend for this to be a serious post, it just happened that way. Maybe you need to think about some of this things- or maybe I just needed to put it down on "paper" to let it sink in to my thick head some more.

News for the Week

2006-11-01T21:08:00.000-05:00

1. John Kerry has bought new shoes made out of chocolate. He got sick of eating the old leather ones every time he stuck his foot into his mouth. He made the decision to switch this past week after inadvertantly insulting over 600,000 heavily armed men- the US Marine Corp. Kerry was trying to make the point that education is important when he said "If you don't (make the most out of education), you get stuck in Iraq." Many people, especially Republicans and Marines, interpreted his remark as implying that soldiers are uneducated. The timing of his remark was most unfortunate as he had managed to not say anything stupid since the 2004 elections, which was the last time he made public comments.

2. A Jacksonville, Florida woman finally found something that duct tape is not good for- babysitting. She was arrested for taping her two sons, ages 2 and 3, to each other while she went to work. She is a naval officer who works (worked) at the Jacksonville Naval Air Station. She denied leaving the boys taped together all day. Kids these days. When I was a kid I never would have gotten away with escaping from day care and running home and tying myself and my little brother up with duct tape. I have a few little sisters I would like to try that on though.

3. A Florida (what's up with Florida?) police chief was fired for attempting to encourage his officers to get into shape. He said in a memo that the "jellie bellies" in the department needed to shape up (hey! I am in shape- round is a shape). One officer wrote an anonymous letter of complaint which resulted in the dismissal of the chief. The letter was difficult to read as the letters were made of cutouts from Little Debbie snacks and some of the words were covered with a mysterious creme filling.

4. A group of fat mice at a Washington research facility were able to live longer lives than their other fat rodent counterparts because their diet contained large amounts of red wine. The same study failed when it was run on a group of police officers in Florida; now they are fat and drunk.

5. A Florida 15 year old (something in the water down there?) was arrested after stealing a city bus and driving it along its route and collecting fares. He drove for about 12 miles and collected a few dollars before a suspicious passenger called 911. Police followed the bus for several miles and finally arrested the boy when he stopped at a bus stop. The police stated that he drove the bus very well and did not break any traffic laws (other then the whole driving without a license thing). This was the boy's second time stealing a bus and trying to run routes with it; he had tried stealing a taxi but passengers recognized that he was a fake by his good driving.

6. An escape artist in Key West, Florida (seriously Florida, what the heck?) was arrested for negligence. He jumped off a platform into some water while wearing a straightjacket. He was supposed to resurface without the straightjacket. He didn't resurface. Police and diver's searched the water for 3 hours without success. The magician was located the next morning in a hotel in Miami, happily celebrating pulling off the greatest trick of his life. Unfortunately, since several rescue workers hasd risked their lives to find him, he was charged and arrested. While he was able to escape from a straightjacket and get out of sight of the crowd without detection, he was unable to escape from a simple pair of handcuffs.

The Perfect Business

2006-10-30T12:10:00.000-05:00

When an entrepreneur starts a company, he wants to find a niche in which his business can have a monopoly or at least provide a service that people will use for a long time. I have found such a business this week (other than EMS; as long as there are stupid people, there will be EMS).

I was sitting on our bed, somewhat bored when I noticed my wife's Woman's Day magazine sitting there and the cover articles caught my eye. Here are four of the articles:

"Eat, Drink . . . and Stay Slim"
"Fast and Fabulous Thanksgiving Feast"
"Smart New Organizing Tips"
"Woman's Day Shopper's Guide"

I don't know if you caught the irony of those articles or not, but let me break it down for you. First we have an article on healthy eating. Since we are all vain and concerned about our weight, especially the target audience of this magazine, having articles on eating healthy and losing weight are the one thing that a magazine for women needs. Now, don't think I am picking on women. I said "concerned about." I did not say "they need to be concerned about . . ."

We also have an article on creating the perfect Thanksgiving feast. This is a must for every woman who wants to provide her family with a large and memorable Turkey Day meal. This is especially useful for the first timers who have never prepared a Thanksgiving or Christmas meal outside of their mom's kitchen before. They (usually) need the extra guidance and help to prepare such a large feast. Incidentally, it is not recommended to approach the table after it has been prepared by such a first timer and say "If it's all the same to you, can I have Cheerios?" Especially if that first timer is your mother; she will bring that up again; and again; and again over the years. Ask me how I know.

Back to the point. The first article is on losing weight. The second article, and several recipes in the magazine, are on how to prepare wonderful, non-healthy indulgent meals (see the Free Cookie Cookbook section). So our magazine is fattening up our target audience and then teaching them how to lose weight, and vice versa. With the constant diet cycles prevalent in the magazine's target audience, the magazine's advice will always be needed. They make sure of it.

The third article addresses the issue of home organization. Of course this is also a big topic. No one wants to be known as being the one in their scrapbooking group with the house that is in a constant state of disarray. What causes such disarray? Clutter. Stuff that we buy thinking we will use it everyday and eventually (after two uses) it finds its way to the back of the closet or kitchen cabinets. Eventually there is no room left in the cabinets and closets but we just can't throw things away after we spent money on them and clutter starts to spill out into the rest of the house. The cure? Read Women's Day's tips on taming the clutter monster.

This brings us to our final article. This is more of a category of articles than a specific article. What good magazine does not have buyer's guides? After all, we can't possibly find enough things to buy on our own without some help. So right after the magazine tells you how to solve your clutter problem, they give you a list of things that you need to have and tell you where to get them. Do you sense a trend here?

Then there are the articles on eliminating debt right after the above mentioned shopper's guide. We wonder why women get compared to roller coasters with their whims and emotions. It's because they read Woman's Day and try to follow the advice. The constant changes between diets and feasts, shopping and saving, accumulating clutter and eliminating it causes stress in their marriage. As soon as their husband is acclimated to his wife's needs, another monthly issue of Woman's Day comes out and her priorities change (there may be another monthly cycle at work there too). Once again, Woman's Day has the answer with their marital advice.

Woman's Day has perfected their business plan. The advice that they freely distribute counteracts the advice they just freely distributed. They create a problem, then fix it, then create another problem, then fix it.

I need to start a business like that. Brilliant.

Incidentally, I don't know why my wife subscribes to this magazine. She doesn't need to lose weight. She is a good cook already. Our house is clean and has little clutter, except in my study and she already has good taste (after all, she picked me) and doesn't need to be told what to buy.

Pictures of my Study

2006-10-24T22:30:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures of my study. The first is how it was when we bought the house.

The second picture is the color we originally painted it when we were planning on going with a a nautical theme in the room.

This past week we repainted with a Red Sox/Patriots theme so I can display all of my sports memorabilia. I wouldn't have chosen those colors based solely on their aesthetic value but it works well with all of my Red Sox stuff.

My next project in there is to add a floor-to-ceiling bookcase on the wall to the left of the computer to help tame the clutter in the room and organize more. Tell me what you think. Honestly.

More Modern Conveniences

2006-10-21T15:14:00.000-04:00

In our society we have an unlimited supply of information. If you don't know the answers, Google can find it for you. There websites advertising every type of search imaginable.

I found a website a few weeks ago that offers you (That's right- YOU!) the ability to find any inmate in America and get loads of information on your criminal of choice for the new low price of $19.99 per month (in case it will take you a while to find everyone that you know in jail).

Somewhat related to that last option is the website that offers to find your high school classmates. If you want to see whatever happened to that jock that gave you a "swirly" in 9th grade, this is the website for you. It may tell you that he lives at 101 Easy Street in a $350,000 house or it may give you great satisfaction by routing you to the above mentioned website.

My personal favorite (other than google) is the recipe search on the Food Network's site (Everyday Italian is my favorite show on the Food Network). The next recipe I'm going to make is the Ginger Sea Bass.

The Internet marvel I recently experienced (on Saturday) is the wonder of package tracking. I placed an order on Wednesday on L.L. Bean's website for a hiking back pack (pictured above). Friday night I logged onto their site and checked where my package was- in 24 hours it had left Portland, gone to Boston, then Connecticut and had already left Connecticut headed south. I figured that I could reasonably expect to see it on Monday. Saturday morning I checked it again and found that during the night it had reached Charlotte and been shipped to Greenville and was listed as "out for delivery." This was very exciting.

The downside to this is that I spent my entire day on Saturday watching the driveway for the FedEx guy. When we went to the grocery store in the afternoon, I was afraid that he would come and not leave the package and I would have to wait for the next delivery on Monday. I had been perfectly content to know that my backpack would be here on Monday, but now that I knew its arrival was imminent, my impatience was overbearing. I was like a little kid waiting for Christmas.

My package finally came, actually while I was writing this post- I started it on Saturday, and my impatience has been satisfied ("I'm a patient man, but. . . "). Now if I can just finish some of these projects around the house and go hiking again.

Friday the 13th

2006-10-14T09:24:00.000-04:00

Paramedics are superstitious. In our business there are some things that you just do not say. For instance, the rookie who walks into the station exhausted from a late night of partying and says "I sure hope it's quiet today" is about to have something thrown at him. You do not use the infamous "Q" word.

I made this mistake my first day on the job. Since I was new, I was riding as the 3rd person on the truck in order to get a feel for how things work. We had a quiet morning and sat down to eat our lunch at a little cafe in town. Just as the waiter brought us our food (I had baked chicken, corn, and friend okra- yes, I still remember what I did not get to eat that day), I asked "How often do you guys (I still talked like a northerner at that point) get called out during meals?" Not 10 seconds later our tones went off and we left our food and went on a call. My coworkers were absolutely convinced that it was my fault that we got the call. I now know how they feel.

Since I work 24 hour shifts I have a bedroom at the station. Apparently there is a button in the mattress that causes someone in the general vicinity to have sudden chest pain when I accidentally hit that spot on the bed. There is no better way to generate a call than to try to sleep. I can sit on the bed and watch TV for 3 or 4 hours and be just fine. As soon as I turn off the TV and lay down- BEEEEP!

My partner and I also noticed that if we have nothing planned for the next day and we can go home and take a nap if we need to, we have a quiet night. If either one of us has something planned for the morning (especially the start of our vacation), forget it.

I said all of that to say that even though I truly believe that all of life and happenings on earth are in God's complete control, there is something ominous about working on Friday the 13th. The one or two other times that I can remember working on Friday the 13th, it was a very busy day. Not necessarily weird stuff (and believe me, if I call it weird . . .), just very, very busy.

Yesterday we managed to escape unharmed. The 5 of us (4 medics and a student) played Uno and Rummy for about 5 hours and we also slept most of the night. When that happens at the busiest station in the county, it is quite remarkable. The only odd thing that happened was when we got up around six to run a call, our truck wouldn't start; the other crew at our station took the call while we jumped the truck. Since we needed to drive it around to make sure the battery was charged, we drove it down to IHOP and had some coffee and pancakes (and a very good Colorado Omlette).

I am thankful it was a quiet night because I am sure I will have a honey-do list this morning and I feel very refreshed after my sleep and coffee.

P.S. Do you like the new format?

Another Day of Hiking

2006-10-12T20:46:00.000-04:00

After volunteering for some overtime yesterday, which turned my 24 hour shift into a 37 hour shift, I felt the need to get outside and spend some more time in the woods. After I slept in, of course. Since Sarah had to work today, Carina and I hit the trails by ourselves. We didn't see any more snakes today and there were very few hikers out. The weather was sunny with a slight breeze and it was about 70 degrees- a very pleasant day.

Carina paced herself a little more today instead of dragging me everywhere. She must have remembered Monday's hike and known she was in for a long walk. She refuses to drink out of streams so I brought an extra liter of water and a dish to pour it in for her. I am going to buy her a doggie backpack so she can tote her own water next time. Water gets heavy after a while.

We hiked for about 3 hours, then returned home to get supper ready. We had grilled shrimp and asparagus with mashed potatoes.

I forsee a lot of hiking in our future.

Table Rock

2006-10-09T20:56:00.000-04:00

Since Sarah had the day off today we went hiking up on Table Rock Mountain. It's about a 35 minute drive from our house and is at the edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Carina came with us and thouroughly enjoyed the hike; she proudly march out ahead of us - as far as her leash would allow- and scouted out the land. She looked like she was all big and bad leading the expedition.

We were able to see some wildlife including this Southern Water Snake (harmless) and a small garter snake. The water snake looks big but it's really just under two feet long by my estimate. Even though Carina was in front, she didn't spot either one before I did. She was supposed to be the big trackin dog and she went 0 for 2 today- that's worse than the Red Sox September record.

We only hiked for an hour or so before heading back. Sarah had underestimated how warm it was and was way overdressed. She didn't layer either, we'll have to work on that. It was a very enjoyable day; the weather was perfect-right around 75 with just a little breeze- and the company was great.

Oh yeah, I got my hair cut really short last night. It was partially an accident. Sarah says I look like a cancer patient, but I don't think it looks that bad.

Party, Party, Party!

2006-10-09T10:08:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday we hosted a birthday party for me here at the house. We had twenty-something people over for some food and messy fun. We had tacos for supper and ice cream for dessert. After supper we all grabbed a pumpkin and went out onto the back porch and had a carving contest. One couple brought some "cheat sheets" that you stencil onto the pumpkins. Some of them turned out really sharp. I tried to take pictures of all of the pumpkins but some of them didn't come out. Here are some of the more photogenic pumpkins:

Doctor's Offices

2006-09-26T19:41:00.000-04:00

Today I went to the doctor's office for a checkup. As usual when I go to the doctor's I worked the night before so I am tired, irritable, and feel like crap. On top of that, I always find visits to doctor's offices very irritating. Let me walk you through my appointment.

First, there is the paperwork that you have to fill out. I am a mostly healthy young man with very few unhealthy vices (ice cream is the worst). When I began going to his doctor, I had to fill out 10 pages of information. The worst part is, I had to hand-write it. Don't they know that I am a part of the computer-addicted, Playstation playing, spell-checker dependant Generation Y? Couldn't I have filled this form out on the Internet before coming in? Or maybe they could hand me a laptop as I walked in and showed me which templates I needed to fill out? "Those right there sir, and once you're finished, just hit 'print' and it will connect with the printer over our wireless network and print right at our billing desk." Nope, we're still in the Stone Age here.

What feels like five hours later as I fill out the last page I have a new medical problem to discuss with my new doctor- carpal tunnel symdrome. I make my way up to the counter past the young mother who is signing in her unruly toddler and I pass the clipboard over to the lady behind the desk who gives a forced smile and closes the glass before I have a chance to ask how long the wait will be.

Finally, I am able to sit back down and relax with a copy of Field & Stream and wait for my turn to be called back. I set the magazine in my lap so I can use my left hand to massage my cramped writing hand while I read all about the newest outdoor sporting goods equipment that I have nowhere near enough money to buy. I read the article about the South Carolina game warden who is known for wrestling catfish (called noodling); he is shown hugging a catfish that looks to be about three feet long. I don't find the wrestling part very impressive but I kind of think of it as a lame redneck version of "The Crocodile Hunter" (who I am going to miss), but it IS a big fish. As I sit there, embarrassed by this fellow South Caroliner's apparent lack of self respect, I can only hope that his hometown here in SC is far, far away from mine.

Then comes the second problem with doctor's offices. The above mentioned unruly toddler becomes enthralled with the red tag on the bottom of my shoe and begins picking at it while her mother sits 10 feet away and laughs at her. "That is so cute," Mom says. I give Rugrat a little smile and a "Hey there." She then proceeds to grab my leg and smack it while giving me a big "I get away with everything because my mother is not smart enough to understand that she needs to punish me" smile. then she makes the unforgivable mistake- she reaches for the Field & Stream. I'm tired, but I see it coming and I lift it just out of her reach. I am no longer smiling at her.

She soon tires of trying to reach it and decides to go bother the drug representative across the room. She waddles across to him in her bare feet with her sagging little diaper and proceeds to mash on the keys of his laptop while he tries to politely remove her grimy little paws from his computer and the legs of his expensive dress pants. Apparently somewhere between trying to steal a magazine and attempting to destroy a $1,200 computer little Rugrat crossed a line in her mother's rule book. Mom slowly gets up and walks over to retrieve her little delinquent.

She takes her back over and holds her in her lap, firmly instructing her little precious to "stay right here." This command obviously carries no weight with Rugrat as she starts squirming and then crying. Since Mom wants to be polite and knows that it is more polite for your child to destroy other people's electronics than to cry in a waiting room she allows her to get down and continue her reign of terror. This cycle is repeated 4-5 times. As Rugrat approaches my Field & Stream once again, I spot a coworker who just sat down across the room and hurry over to talk with him and escape further torture.

About 30 minutes later I am the last soul in the waiting room; Rugrat and Mom had finally been called back and I was able to settle down again with a copy of Outdoor, which contains articles about yet even more expensive products, including the $250 Oakley sunglasses with a built in Bluetooth headset. That's cool.

Finally I am called back. It has only been a mere hour and fifteen minutes but I feel like I have survived the second Hundred Years War. In spite of my near fatal dose of exhaustion, I have the foresight to bring my new magazine back. I learned long ago that the wait in the back can be just as long and the rooms are usually not as well stocked with reading material as the waiting room. I'm right; the only magazine in the room is Parenting which I am sooo not in the mood for.

Fortunately, the doctor comes in just as I finish Outdoor and within 10 minutes, he's done. Wait, I waited for THIS? Now I get to take a pulmonary function test which comprises of taking a deep breath and blowing into a tube as hard as you can. The hard part is that just as you are running out of air the nurse starts saying "keep going, keep going" and continues that until every last molecule of air has been exhaled and I'm coughing like an asthmatic smoker (I guess I am half of that anyways). Try this some time at a party as an ice breaker; it's a blast.

After all that, when I leave I get billed for everything. $80 for the exam (he asked me three questions), $30 for the pulmonary torture test, $500 for the month's rent in the waiting room, and $5 to re-route my mail back to my house once I return home. Wait, I have to PAY for this?!?!?

The bright side of the whole trip was that on the way home I stopped at Home Depot and picked up a router and bit set that my parents had bought for me for my birthday. That, and Carina racing to see me when I got home, made me feel much better.

Sadly, the only part of this story that I exaggerated at all was the billing and the paperwork. The kid really was that bad. What is this world coming to?

Modern Conveniences, Part 3

2006-09-10T17:23:00.000-04:00

Well my phone is now working as an MP3 player as well as a phone. After getting a new music pack and a new phone with no success, I figured the problem was with my computer. I reinstalled Windows and formatted the hard drive. The phone still did not connect to my computer and I had accidentally deleted all of my music in the process (I moved everything to my second hard drive except for the music-I guess it was a hypoglycemic moment).

The only other possible device that could be causing me problems was my USB port; I bought it three years ago because it was the cheapest on the shelf. It was a two port USB 1.1. Since then the new USB 2.0 has become the standard but, until my phone, every device I have used does work, just slowly. The phone is apparently not "backwards compatible." So Matt gave me a three port USB 2.0 PCI card and the phone connected just fine.

So now it is fully operational and really has a good sound with the headset that came with the music pack. I do recommend the phone as long as you have the required computer hardware.

Two new links

2006-09-09T21:56:00.000-04:00

There are two new links on the right of my page.

On is Dave's Blog. Dave is a friend of mine from Northland and has some very thought-provoking insights and humor.

The other is the Journeys of the Faire Maidens. (That's "faire" with an "e"; apparently travelers have to adopt Olde English in their writings) It is written by my friends Lana and Tanya as they travel across the US. I think that they are in New Mexico right now.

Megalopyge opercularis

2006-09-08T22:07:00.000-04:00

This past week I had an interesting call at work. A lady showed up at the station complaining of an insect bite on her right leg and arm. It was from -get this- a caterpillar. Now I know that some caterpillars can sting if you touch them but the rash from this bite was about 4 inches long and was causing serious pain. They had brought the caterpillar in a ziploc bag. It looks like a hairball; the closest thing that I can come up with is a "tribble" from Star Trek (one of the 2 or 3 Star Trek episodes that I've seen, I despise Star Trek).

Anyways, the patient was fine, except for the discomfort and they left the caterpillar with me at the station. I quickly googled caterpillars and identified the creature. It is a Puss Caterpillar (Megalopyge opercularis). It is known as one of the most poisonous caterpillars in America. Embedded in the hair along its back are detachable spines filled with venom. Although the venom is not lethal to humans (unless you are hypersensitive), the barbs will break off in the skin of anyone who touches this and, unless they are removed, will continue to release venom and cause severe pain for 4-5 days. The articles I read said that the barbs are easily removed using packaging tape.

I find this harmless looking little devil fascinating and so I brought him home and have housed him in an insect cage that my mom sent for me to capture a scorpion in for Annie (I haven't seen a single one since the cage arrived). I named him furby, after an annoying little toy that someone bought my younger sisters years ago. My wife does not share my fascination and is currently plotting an assasination attempt; I don't think Furby has much of a chance of survival against such a foe.

Chicken Tetrazzini

2006-09-05T21:54:00.000-04:00

Wednesday was September 6th and was the five year anniversary of our first date. We were introduced by a mutual friend and I knew I wanted to get to know her. I convinced that mutual friend to schedule both Sarah and me to eat with her for dinner. All was going well as we planned to meet in front of the BJU Dining Common at 5:00. At 4:00, my wonderful friend called and told me that she had to work and I was on my own. So I waited in front of the Dining Common for Sarah and when she arrived I said something stupid-sounding like this:
"Umm, Sarah?"

"Yes?"

"I am Amber's friend, Bobby, and she called and asked me to tell you that she couldn't meet you for dinner."

"OK, thanks." At this point Sarah turned to walk away because she didn't like eating alone.

"Umm, if you don't have anyone to eat with, you can eat with me."

"Sure."

Well the course that night was chicken tetrazzini, which is a BJU special. By "special" I mean that they serve it to a small elite crowd of students- not everybody gets to eat chicken tetrazzini. Mainly because as soon as most students see it on the menu they will try to find a more pleasant meal elsewhere like McDonald's, one of the soup kitchens in downtown Greenville, or the dumpster behind the dorms. The chicken is cooked in some type of creamy sauce and served over undercooked or overcooked rice. The cream sauce lacked any discernible flavor as if they had made a batch of the sauce at the beginning of the year and just kept adding water to the leftovers in order to make it stretch for the full school year. It was vile stuff!

I was going to make a modified version of the meal for us on Wednesday night so that we could reminisce while we ate but I didn't have any three-month-old watered-down alfredo sauce and BiLo was fresh out of Cream of Vomit soup. We had to settle for Outback instead. I have to say, the ribeye didn't have the reminiscing value of the chicken tetrazzini but it sure tasted better.

Modern Conveniences, Part 2

2006-08-31T19:43:00.000-04:00

My newest gadget to give me trouble is my new LG Chocolate phone which, in addition to being a phone, also has a 1.3 megapixel camera and plays MP3s(music for you non technical people). The phone requires a special cable and CD which Verizon sells separately from the phone. Of course, Murphy's Law has struck again and they did not have the music pack when I got the phone.

I went back earlier this week and bought the music pack and rushed home to connect the phone to my computer and download music to it. It didn't work. I tried installing the driver several times, but my computer and phone were still not speaking to each other. Apparently Verizon should have included an asterisk on the advertisement for the Chocolate phone that mentioned that this phone is cranky and "does not play well with others." Other than that, the phone has been great. I never thought I would see the day when I would get a phone and be mad because it only worked as a phone.

Today I exchanged the music pack for a new one, hoping that it was an issue with the cable or the CD. The new hardware did not fare any better. So I called Verizon's tech support and was connected with a technician who spoke English. He couldn't figure out my problem either and transferred me to Microsoft's tech support, who immediately put me on hold . . . . . . . . . and I was disconnected.

I called Microsoft back and spoke with a man who was obviously speaking English as a second language. It took 6 minutes for him to get my name, ZIP code, and phone nuimber. Now I am on hold again. It is going to be a long evening.

Modern Conveniences

2006-08-30T18:47:00.000-04:00

I have a new respect for all of our modern conveniences after today. We take for granted the impact that cell phones, computers, the internet, and air conditioners have on our lives. When I can't find my wife in the mall (I'm usually hungry and want to go home lest I waste money on a nasty meal in the food court), I simply pull out my cell phone and call her.

"Honey, where are you?"

"Shoe Carnival is having a great sale on shoes." (i.e. "I could be here a few hours")

"OK, just let me know when you are ready. Love you."

"Love you, too."

So then I spend the next hour or so wandering around the mall pondering how much simpler it was the call her than to hunt for her all afternoon while she is hunkered down in the back of the shoe store trying to find just the right shoe to go with that new blue suit she bought for work. Of course, the end result is the same- I am still roaming around, starving to death. For the fifth time I slip into Williams and Sonoma and grab a few bread squares and soak them in the gourmet olive oil they provide as free samples; by now the clerks recognize me as a "sample scavenger" and glare at me until I retreat back out of the store.

Today I was really struck with how pitiful our society would be if we were stripped of our technologies. At least, if everyone is as "soft" as I am. Having grown up in Maine, I should be used to temperature extremes, right? Well now I am a wimpy, heat pump and AC-dependant Southerner. After I returned home from work this morning and found the air conditioner not working (inside temp was 88), I did my best to fix it.

For me, fixing an air conditioner is somewhat like working on a car. I simply look at the unit (or open the hood) and stare at it with a thoughtful look, pretending I am pondering the complex systems that work together to run the unit. Since I was home alone I didn't have to pretend I knew anything so I just turned it off and left it for a few hours in case it had "frozen up."

After that, I did what anyone would do- as little as I could. I played computer games, read a book and blogged. Yes, today I actually broke a sweat while blogging. I had a choice between hot and stuffy inside or hot and humid outside. I even considered taking my computer in to work and sitting around in the AC all day.

Well, this story ends well. After the unit had been off for 4-5 hours,I turned it back on around 4:00 and it worked wonderfully. The temperature was down from 88 to 85 by the time Sarah got home and down to 75 by the time we got back from church tonight.

Tomorrow I plan to do nothing as well, but I'll do it much more comfortably.

Another week flies by

2006-08-30T09:52:00.000-04:00

Well, as I mentioned in my last blog, I have 31 new books to read so I haven't had much time for blogging. Since the book sale I have read two books, including one that I didn't even buy at the book sale.

My mother sent me a copy of the book Marley and Me which is a journalist's commentary on his life with a Labrador retriever that suffered from a serious case of ADHD. He described Marley as having "the attention span of algae and the volatility of nitroglycerin." Having had retrievers myself (although goldens are much more sophisticated and intelligent than labs) I can completely relate to his stories. Carina is sweet and well behaved but still has the same "triple espresso exuberance" that described Marley. The only downside to the book was the ending which dealt with Marley's failing health and eventual death, but it was still a very entertaining read.

I also read Deception Point by Dan Brown, author of The Da Vinci Code. It was a very intriuging story about a grand scale government cover-up.It was good but reminded me a lot of The Da Vinci Code, minus the heresy.

Other than reading, I have done a little bit of work around the house and I got to spend a lot of time with my in-laws (for me that is a good thing). They spent most of last week with us before heading back to Italy on Monday. We went to a Greenville Drive game on Tuesday and watch the home team get creamed; their only run was on a bases-loaded walk.

I guess the highlight of the week was Saturday morning's fantasy football draft. A group of guys (and one woman) from my church sat around a table for three hours on Saturday morning as we each plotted and schemed each other's demise. I've been playing fantasy football for three years now and this is the first time I've been in a league with a live draft; it was a blast. Afterwards I came home and cleaned off a place on my desk for the trophy to sit when I bring it home at the end of the season.

So that's my week in a nutshell (or actually a blog entry; I don't know what nutshells have to do with anything).

The Greenville Book Party

2006-08-21T11:37:00.000-04:00

Boston Tea Party move over. America has a new favorite riot, or at least we do here in South Carolina. This past Saturday I joined a crowd of about 10,000 and picketed outside McCalister Square-a former shopping mall turned into an educational complex. It was a peaceful gathering at first, but at 8:30AM the crown acted as one and charged the building, overwhelming the staff and causing utter mayhem. I escaped after an hour with my loot but the chaos ruled for several more hours as the staff vainly attempted to keep the tables stocked with books. Books?!?

Saturday was the annual "Very Good, Very Big, Very Cheap Book Sale" here in Greenville. 116,000 used books were donated over the last year to the Greenville Literacy Association and they sell them all (or as many as possible in one day), setting them up in boxes in tables throughout the complex. We got in line about a minute before they opened the doors and began the mad dash for the best bargains. Within 10 minutes I had said "oops, sorry" or some form of apology for bumping into people so many times that I began to pretend I didn't notice.

Last year we came to the sale empty handed, not anticipating how many good books there were for such low prices. By the end of the sale, I was balancing about 20 books while trying to pick out other ones. This time we brought our Extra Large L.L. Bean Canvas Tote Bag and stuffed it full of books (my shoulder surgery is scheduled for Tuesday).

After an hour we left with 31 books (cost: $41) including a biography on Thomas Jefferson, gardening books, a detailed atlas of Britain (Scotland is our planned destination for vacation next year), and finally a large collection of novels. Most of them were obtained peacefully but I did have to beat an old lady over the head with Sarah's copy of The Book of Virtues ($3) in order to get the last copy of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil($2).

(Author's Note: Picture above not actually taken at the book sale. If you didn't know that already. . .)

Chocolate in the News

2006-08-19T00:36:00.000-04:00

There are three things in life that you can count on: death, taxes, and the appearances of likenesses of Mary. There used to be four, with the fourth being that the Red Sox would never again win the World Series, but we all know how that changed. The remaining three are dependable enough that you can bet your retirement on them. There have only been 2 known instances of people escaping death completely (Elijah, Enoch) and while it is common for people to escape taxes, their oversight usually doesn't take too long to catch up to them; ask Al Capone; actually don't ask him, that would be creepy. So essentially, these things are much more predictable and dependable than other such things like friends, relatives, the stock market, gas prices (although gas prices have been very predictable lately), and Elizabeth Taylor's marriages.

As for the likenesses of Mary, hundreds of instances can be found; at least one a year in modern times. She has been seen on the side of the New England Aquarium in Boston, on a tree in Lubbock, Texas, and in a weeping statue in Akita, Japan. This year's version can be found in Fountain Valley, California. A worker at the Bodega Gourmet Chocolates bakery found a piece of chocolate of the floor that had formed into a shape similar to that of the most popular pose seen of Mary. My personal favorite take on the story is The Palm Beach Post's article "The Immaculate Confection" which also compares the chocolate to a statue of a falcon, a rapper, and Darth Vader.

I guess the popularity of this news story can be contributed more to its competition than its own merit. The normal American who does not want to increase their dose of Welbutrin would much rather hear about chocolate on the news than about rising gas prices, more Ford layoffs, and anything having to do with Paris Hilton or Britney Spears. Not to mention the wars in the Middle East.

Another tasty chocolate tidbit in the news now is the story of a 21 year-old Wisconsin man who worked at a factory producing chocolate and accidentally slipped into a vat of 110 degree chocolate and was not able to be extracted until the chocolate was thinned out with cocoa butter. (I would like to see the redneck that they interviewed after that . . .) He is reported to be doing fine, although some reports say that his dating life has improved and he has had to beat women off with a stick since the incident.

In unrelated news, thousands of geeky computer technicians have been jumping into vats of chocolate . . .

Saturday

2006-08-12T21:09:00.000-04:00

Although technically I should have two out of every three Saturdays off, it seems that Sarah and I never have a day off together. Today I got home at 8:15 and we were able to spend the whole day together.

Sarah spent the morning (and part of last night) painting the main bathroom. Up until now it had only been primer. I rehung the mirror this evening and finally hung the lighthouse picture that Lianna painted. The African picture that she painted is now hanging in our bedroom along with the other African pictures (which are of a lesser quality).

We also hung some pictures in the dining room as well as some decorative bowls that were given to us as a wedding gift.

This afternoon and evening I spent several hours making tiramisu from a recipe book that Sarah has called "Chocolate: Cooking with the World's Best Ingredient." It is very rich but very good; Sarah didn't like it because of the strong coffee taste.

Who picks them?

2006-08-09T19:44:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed while watching the news that when the reporters interview bystanders, they always pick the most backwards, inbred, redneck, buck-toothed goober that they can find? I'm not talking about just the local news here in South Carolina either. Even national chains like CNN seem to be able to find just the right person to interview. Apparently clean cut, well dressed and intelligent people never witness anything.

If a meteor fell on Cape Cod, the news people would show up on the scene and somehow they would find the one guy on the Cape named "Bubba" and hook him up to the microphone. Not only is that person's appearance very distracting, but their speech pattern usually merits using subtitles in order to understand the story. "Well, I was just sittin here on dis here banch cause I was waitin for the bus. See, I lost my driver's license back in November, no October-it was before the NASCAR season and I didn't get to go to Dover to the race cause I couldn't drive, not legally anyways. So I was sittin here and all of a sudden I saw this bright flash in the sky and heard this loud crash and I got dirt sprayed all over me- it was like the time we were out muddun in my new Chevrolet truck and we got stuck, that happened a lot in the Chevrolet, and my cousin spun the tires while I was fixin to push on the tailgate and I ended up eatin a lot of dirt. . . . . . . . . . . . ."

My theory is that it is a secret competition between reporters to find the worst possible "interviewee" and at the annual "Reporters Awards" they have an prize for "Most Incomprehensible Interview." I hear it's a tight race this year between "Cooter" in Topeka talking about the 5 car pile up and "Billy-Bob" in Birmingham describing exactly what happened after he said "Hey y'all, watch this!"

In hindsight, I am really glad that I have never been asked to give a statement. I must not fit their profile.

Nuestro Himno "Our Anthem"

2006-08-07T12:33:00.000-04:00

Apparently I hear about popular controversies a little late. The newest dispute that I am reading about is the singing (and recording) of "The Star Spangled Banner" in Spanish. The translation is called "Nuestro Himno." A group of Hispanic singers recorded a Spanish version of our national anthem. Since I just heard about this, I am still formulating an opinion.

I am not against immigration at all. The founders of our country were themselves European immigrants; with the exception of the Native Americans, we are all of immigrant descent. Were it not for the massive influx of immigrants at the end of the 19th Century and the beginning of the 20th Century, our country would not have had the manpower to face the threat of World War II; most of Europe would now be speaking German and saluting the swastika, Hawaii would be part of Japan, and if the west coast was still part of America, it would be under constant attack from Japan.

We probably cannot imagine how different our country would be if we had shut down our borders 100 years ago. How will we look back on this time in 100 years? Will we say "the Hispanic immigration wasn't that bad" or will it be "nosotros suyo entuerto (we were wrong)."

The problem with the immigrants, or "displaced foreigners," is specifically those that are here illegally. That is a slap in the face to the millions of Hispanics that have gone through the trouble of moving to the U.S. legally. They (the illegal immigrants) do not pay taxes, but they expect medical care (which EMS services and emergency rooms cannot refuse them); many of them refuse to learn English and our government agencies and hospital must provide translators to them at no cost.

Now there is a push to change America's official language to both English and Spanish (currently there is no official language, although 83% of us speak English) to facilitate the assimilation of Hispanic immigrants into our culture. Unfortunately this will only cripple the careers of the Hispanic children growing up in America. While managers of fast food restaurants, construction companies, landscaping companies and gas stations may learn Spanish in order to increase their pool of applicants, no large corporations are going to require their employees to learn Spanish in order to communicate with their new coworkers. Talk about a glass ceiling! Many feminist groups in America complain about women hitting a "glass ceiling" in their careers; at least we can understand what American women are saying (although sometimes I doubt that as well). It would be a great disservice to the Hispanic children here in America to not force them to learn English while they are still young.

How "Nuestro Himno" fits into this, I don't know. Maybe it is just a way to establish patriotism among the Hispanic Americans. Maybe it's a strategy to desensitize us to translating everything American into Spanish (as if bilingual signs in Home Depot aren't enough to do that). Maybe it is as simple as some musicians who wanted to make some money selling albums to the 30 million Hispanics in America.

Maybe I should be more worried that our country has forgotten verses 2-4 of "The Star Spangled Banner." The text of the fourth verse is:

O thus be it ever when free-men shall stand
Between their lov'd home and the war's desolation;
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land
Praise the Pow'r that hath made and preserv'd us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust!”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Maybe I should be worried about the changes I'm seeing. Maybe I should quit procrastinating and go back outside and finish my yard work. Yea, that's what I'll do.

Project #154,325:Complete

2006-08-03T17:50:00.000-04:00

How to get out of Iraq; Fun with France

2006-08-02T23:58:00.000-04:00

Tonight there was a headline on Yahoo News that said "U.S., France working on two-phase UN Mideast plan." The first phase is the U.S. moving troops in and engaging the enemy, ending conflict and bringing (relative) peace; we are good at that. Phase two is removal of the troops, "strategic redistribution," organized by the French, who are very adept at that particular military strategy.

-Robert Wales

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France." —Jay Leno

"Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go in reverse. Tanks that only go in reverse — they've been repackaged and sold to France." —Craig Kilborn

"According to the Pentagon today, secret surrender negotiations are now underway with key Iraqi military officials. That's what the Pentagon said: We're in secret negotiations, so for God sakes, don't tell anyone. ... What we're doing basically is giving these key Iraqi military officials instructions on how to surrender. See, this is where we could have used the French." —Jay Leno

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."

--Norman Schwartzkopf

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh

Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 so wildly?
A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the U.S.

The Mess in the Middle East

2006-07-31T18:33:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe the audacity of some of our politicians. They have the gall to criticize Israel and their military actions in the Middle East. I expect this from Kofi Annan and his "Messengers of Peace" who specialize in doing nothing, but I would hope that our government would not have forgotten the horror and pain of the World Trade Center attacks so soon. Now, I do not think that war should be entered into lightly, but Israel has been patient enough. We launched a war against the Taliban and essentially took over Afghanistan (which I completely agreed with) one month after being attacked on September 11.

Israel, on the other hand, has been attacked mercilessly by Hezbollah and other terrorist groups. Not a week goes by that Israel does not experience some type of hostile action against them. Other than suicide bombers, the terrorists are also using short range missile systems and car bombs to target crowds of civilians. They target shopping centers, restaurants, busy sidewalks, and night clubs. Each time these events hit the news, there is an obvious silence about in the media. No senators denounce Hezbollah; no European leaders demand an end to the killings; the U.N. takes no actions to help Israel.

Israel is now fighting back by targeting known terrorist hideouts in Lebanon. On Sunday, the Israeli air force destroyed a building that was being used by Hezbollah as a base from which they were launching missiles into northern Israel. Fifty six people, mostly women and children, died when the building collapsed in the bombing. The world was outraged, and was quick to criticize the killing of civilians. No one mentioned the cowardly actions of the Lebanese guerrillas who fired from the building, knowing that it was full of innocent people and that their actions might bring retaliation from Israel. That may have even been their motivation: either to use the civilians as a shield or to use it to fuel the fires of hatred for Israel in the Middle East.

No one in America, or anywhere in Europe for that matter, has any right to criticize the actions of the Israeli government. They have finally taken a stand or their people. They have a strong military and could dominate the Middle East at any time if they saw fit. Instead, they have patiently withstood the attacks until now.

The President needs to continue to support Israel in their fight against terrorism as they supported us in ours; The U.N. needs to help with the fight, or mind their own business; and we need to pray for Israel.

Project #154,325

2006-07-31T16:22:00.000-04:00

My project over the weekend was to build a bookcase to fit under the window in my study- a space about 2' tall and 6' wide. Sarah and I put it together and put one coat of stain on it on Saturday. Today I added the second coat of stain and one layer of poly. I will finish it and bring it in tomorrow sometime. It's made of birch plywood and the trim on the front is poplar and maple ( I ran out of poplar).

We will still have some books packed away even when this bookcase is filled. My eventual plan is a floor to ceiling unit in my study to the left of my desk.

I also went over to Matt's house and we worked on installing his whirlpool tub. I'm sure he'll be adding pictures of this weekend's progress to his blog soon . . .

Her First Mistake

2006-07-26T22:17:00.000-04:00

I always thought that Sarah was perfect until today. She was been the perfect girlfriend, fiance, and now wife, but she made a little mistake today. She gave me my birthday present (a little early)- a hammock. That is wonderful! The problem is that we have a lot more projects left on the house. She cannot possibly believe that I will be able to motivate myself to work around the house now that there is a perfectly comfortable hammock in the shade of the cedar tree in our backyard. To top it all off, next month is the annual "Very Good, Very Big, Very Cheap Book Sale" here in the Upstate and after that I will have a large supply of books waiting to be read as well. The combination of the two will be hard to resist.

Oh well, the projects will still be there this winter when it is too cold to sit outside and read. I can always get around to them then. Until then . . . if I don't answer the phone when you call, it's because I'm out on my new hammock relaxing and I didn't bring the phone with me. Don't worry, though; eventually my iced tea will run out and I'll have to come back inside for more.

My thoughts exactly

2006-07-23T21:36:00.000-04:00

"I am a Yankees fan," a first-grade teacher explains to this class. "Who likes the Yankees?"
Everyone raises their hands except one little girl.
"Janie," the teacher says, surprised. "Why didn't you raise your hand?"
"I'm not a Yankees fan."
"Well, if you're not a Yankees fan, then what team do you like?"
"The Red Sox," Janie answers.
"Why in the world are you a Red Sox fan?"
"Because my mom and dad are Red Sox fans."
"That's no reason to be a Red Sox fan," the teacher replies, annoyed. "You don't always have to be just like your parents. What if your mom and dad were morons? What would you be then?"
"A Yankees fan."
-www.rd.com

Barbaro

2006-07-14T14:25:00.000-04:00

After watching the news these last few weeks I can't believe how trivial we've become as a society. The horse that won the Kentucky Derby, Barbaro, broke his leg in the Preakness a few weeks later. Now his owners are trying to keep him healthy enough to be used as a stud since his racing career is obviously over. Barbaro's recovery has not gone so well and his broken leg is now infected as is his other rear leg.

The shocking part of this story is America's response to the horse's plight. The news said that every day thousands of get well cards and apples arrive to comfort Barbaro. The University of Pennsylvania, whose School of Veterinary Medicine is overseeing Barbaro treatment, has set up an online message board where you can leave "well wishes" for Barbaro.

One person wrote: "You have touched my heart and the heart of our Nation. Bravery, in the face of adversity, must be praised and honored and you have shown this to us." Bravery?

Another wrote: "You are our nation's symbol of greatness, courage, and love this summer."

A lot of kids left sweet messages on there and I can understand them picturing Barbaro's vet sitting by Barbaro's side and reading him these words of encouragement from his fans; but many of those who left comments on there, including those who left the comments I quoted above, were adults.

What do they think happens to their emails? Babaro is sitting quietly in his stall, mired in depression from the reality of never being able to race again, almost ready to give up his will to live when suddenly his owner comes running in holding a print-out from the University of Pennsylvania's website. "Barbaro, hang in there! We just received a letter from Susie P., 57, in Delaware who said that you are her inspiration to her and her family. Don't give up." Barbaro lifts his head high; he has a new resolve; he has a duty to the American public . . .

Get a grip people. I'm going to start sending care packages to Barbaro, with Elmer's glue inside so he can get used to the idea. No, I'm not that mean. I just don't see how people can be so trivial and so concerned with the plight of a horse when there is so much else going on in the world that merits attention. Maybe it's a good distraction for people who don't want to read the rest of the news. I don't know.

(The editor would like to add that anyone whose comments may have been quoted in this posting should not take offense at the author's mockery of their words. They should also not bother to sue the author or the editor, since neither of them have enough money to bother suing for. Also, picture courtesy of the University of Pennsylvania's website.)

Happy Birthday Melissa

2006-07-14T14:23:00.000-04:00

Today is Melissa's 26th birthday and since I worked last night I made sure to call her shortly after her birthday started- about 1:15. She wouldn't answer the phone so I called back a few more times. She still didn't answer so I left a message. I wonder what she was doing that was so important . . .

Happy Birthday anyways Mel.

Stayin' on Sarah's Good Side

2006-07-11T20:32:00.000-04:00

The last room to have its flooring installed was the laundry room. I laid the tile today and will grout it on Thursday when I return from work. I actually enjoy laying tile; the mortar is not as messy as the adhesive used for the wood floors and tile goes down much faster. I had been putting this off for a while but finally got it out of the way today.

The color of the laundry room was not what we intended it to be. It will be repainted soon to a more mellow color.

The Grillmaster

2006-07-07T14:18:00.000-04:00

Well, I haven't been doing a very good job at updating my blog recently; but I have an excuse. In addition to work and lots of yard work, I have been busy playing with my new grill, much to Sarah's delight. I've had it for about two weeks now and I have been having a blast with it. I got a cookbook with it that has everything in it from steaks and burgers to vegetables and desserts, all on the grill.

Carina likes my grill because there's more room on the porch than in the kitchen so I'm not tripping all over her while I'm cooking(regardless of what her diary says).

Here is my favorite dessert recipe from Weber's Real Grilling. My mom wanted the recipe so I figured I post it here for her in case anyone else wanted it.

Grilled Peaches with Blackberry Sauce

Sauce
1 cup washed blackberries
2 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon sugar
4 medium peaches, firm but ripe, halved and pits removed

1. Sauce: In a food processor, puree the blackberries with 2 tablespoons water. Add the sugar and puree until smooth. Strain seeds out if you desire.

2. In a small sauce pan over medium heat, melt the butter, then add the sugar and stir until the sugar is dissolved. Remove the saucepan from the heat. Brush the peach halves all over with the butter mixture.

3. Grill the peach halves over medium heat until they are browned in spots and warmed throughout, 8 minutes, turning them every 3 minutes or so. Serve the peaches warm with the blackberry sauce and vanilla ice cream.

Carina's Diary, Part 2

2006-06-23T17:36:00.000-04:00

Here are some more excerpts from the diary of my 8 month old golden retriever, Carina.

Day 210: I am way faster than my owner now. When he wants me, he has to stand there and call for me to come because chasing me serves no purpose. Usually I come when he calls but sometimes I like to try to make him chase me. I shouldn’t though; it’s just not fair to do that to a slow clutz like him.

Day 214: I have definitely identified my owner’s wife as being the weaker of the two. She finds my “cuteness” irresistible and cannot say no to me. While they are eating I lay my head on her lap and she gives in and slips me some of her food unless my owner sees, then he doesn’t let her. When he’s gone, though . . .

Day 216: My owner was gone again today. I am sensing a pattern. He is gone every third day; where does he go for a whole day at a time? He must get bored and lonely without his trusty dog with him. He better not be playing with another dog while he’s gone.

Day 220: I do not understand what happened today. My owner took me back to the vet’s office and left me all day. They brought me into a room with a bunch of people who were all paying attention to me; I love attention! But then I started feeling really tired and I took a long nap. When I woke up, I did not feel good and my stomach hurt. My owner came and got me and took me home. I have been feeling a little better since supper.

Day 225: My owner played hide and seek with me in the house. I always find him fairly quickly, except when he hides in the closets (I forget that they are there). Well today he went running into the closet in his study to hide and forgot that there was a shelf at the level of his forehead. I jumped on him when he fell on the floor so he would know that I found him!

Day 230: My owner found a new way to be cruel to me today. I don’t know if he intends to torture me or it just comes natural for him. My owner and his wife prepare their food in the kitchen every day and it smells so good, but they never let me taste any; I just eat the same old pellets every day. Sometimes I am in the yard when they cook so I don’t have to smell the food that I can’t eat. Today my owner bought a grill and when he cooks with it the smells spread across the whole backyard. I can smell the tasty meat that's up there on the grill but eveytime I try to check it out I get smacked. One of these days when he's not looking . . . It's not like it will hurt me or anything.

Day 231: I don’t mean to complain; all in all my owners are pretty good. The other dogs in the neighborhood complain that their owners never play with them or don’t allow them inside. I must be pretty special.

Traitor

2006-06-21T10:30:00.000-04:00

I am officially a traitor. My dog has trusted me with her needs and safety and yesterday I betrayed that trust. I came home from work to my normal enthusiastic welcome from Carina then grabbed her leash and started for the door. She loves to go for rides in the car. She drools a little bit from being nervous but she is getting better about that. She always sits up tall and watches the cars and people as we go by.

Yesterday was different; our destination was the vet's office for Carina to get spayed. She was bouncy and happy like a golden retriever puppy should be as she tried to get everyone we saw to pet her; she was even excited to see the three legged cat again(who was not so excited to see her).

She was at the vet's office all day until I picked her up at 4:00. When they brought her out, she was still woozy from the sedatives and her tail was missing the usual "I'm so happy to see you" wag. I felt horrible when she would look at me with her big, brown, adoring eyes and I imagined her wondering why I had allowed them to make her sick. The fact that she doesn't understand what was done to her and why it was done makes it even worse.

I feel really, really bad.

I brought her to work with me today so that I can keep an eye on her. I don't know if I am really allowed to have her here but since it is a one time hing I guess it is easier to ask forgiveness that npermission. She is in her cage in the garage. I think I've been out there 20 times to check on her already and it's not even 11:00 yet.

After yesterday I don't think that I can have kids. Carina is only a dog and I was so worried about her yesterday and I feel so bad for her when she's sick. How would I feel if my child was going through that?

One of my coworkers is in Charleston today for her son to have heart surgery at MUSC. They are going to go into his heart and "zap" a section of his heart to keep him from going into recurrent SVT (rapid heart rate). I would have to be sedated to be able to sit in a waiting room for hours while my child was going through that.

Yep, no kids for me.

Happily Married

2006-06-19T18:52:00.000-04:00

Sarah and I returned safely from New England without any major mishaps. We landed in Boston on Thursday around lunchtime and met my aunt Cindy for lunch at Legal Seafood on the waterfront. The food was good and the location was great and we were able to catch up a little. We had hoped that we could spend a week in New England but it didn't work out this time.

After lunch Sarah and I went to the New England Aquarium and spent a few hours there. They have a large variety of animals and it is well presented if a bit outdated. We also saw Fanueil Hall, which was a meeting hall and marketplace in colonial Boston and also served as a signing place of the Declaration of Independence. We have now been to two of the three surviving buildings in which the Declaration was signed, the other that we've been to being in Charleston. Now we need to visit Philadelphia.

While we were in NH we stayed in a cabin on a lake owned by a friend of the bride. We were able to do some swimming and canoeing. The swimming was a little bit cold, but still refreshing.

Nathan and Elizabeth's wedding went very well and it was really a beautiful wedding. The ceremony was in an old New England church, a big white clapboard building with a tall steeple. The church even has an old carriage house in back.

The reception was held at a house owned by a friend of the family. The house was beautiful, to say the least-any house with a 4 bedroom, built in servants' quarters has to be fairly stately. The resception was very classy and the food was great.

We wish the new married couple the best as they begin their life together. I, for one, definately recommend married life.

Prayer Requested

2006-06-14T19:41:00.000-04:00

Please pray for Sarah and me this weekend. We are leaving tomorrow (Thursday) morning for Sarah's brother's wedding in New Hampshire. We will be back on Sunday.

New Links and a Quote

2006-06-13T21:13:00.000-04:00

I have added two new links on the right hand side of the page. They are linked to directories of bloggers from Northland and bloggers from BJU. I will be adding more links soon as I find more friends' blogs.

On another note, this is my 50th post. It is almost a waste of a post to tell everyone about the links that are on the same page as this post.

I have found a quote that I really enjoyed so I will add that here so as not to waste a post.

"When someone wrongs you, ask yourself: What made him do it? Once you understand his concept of good and evil, you'll feel sorry for him and cease to be either amazed or angry. If his concept is similar to yours, then you are bound to forgive him since you would have acted as he did in similar circumstances. But if you do not share his ideas of good and evil, then you should find it easier to overlook the wrongs of someone who is confused and in a moral muddle."
-Marcus Aurelius

The Rest of the Picture

2006-06-07T10:23:00.000-04:00

Since I misused the picture of Lianna on that last post I will post the entire picture. This is my little(or not so little anymore) sister with her horse Corazon. She also has another horse named Boo but he wasn't feeling photogenic that day.

Lianna is an accomplished and much-awarded artist and plays violin and piano. Here are two pictures that she painted for us.

It's a zoo in there!

2006-06-07T09:36:00.000-04:00

Saturday Sarah and I enjoyed a rare day off together. We have been wanting to visit the Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia so we headed down that way; we have a zoo here in Greenville but it is pretty pitiful at this point. So after getting up really late we headed out around 10:00. Everything went well until about 30 miles from Columbia, then it all came loose. The traffic came to a stop and the thunderclouds started rolling in. It was a mess. The last 30 miles took us 90 minutes.

We were very surprised that when we got to the Zoo it hadn't even rained there and the sun was out. The zoo was actually very nice. It wasn't on the level on the DC zoo but it was much better than Greenville. We were able to see a bird show and a sea lion show, and we also saw them feeding the fish in the aquarium and feeding the penguins. They had a fairly large variety of animals, especially the reptiles.

Twins-separated at birth.

These two are definately related.

Who do you think these remind me of?

Hey, look who I found!

Sarah and I had a blast at the zoo. We didn't see a drop of rain while we were there.

When we got back home we had another surprise birthday party to go to for our assistant pastor. We had a great time (and this one was a successful surprise too) eating ice cream and shooting hoops and talking. It was a very enjoyable Saturday.

Ethics and Birthdays

2006-06-03T08:59:00.000-04:00

I have been battling with a moral dilemma for the last few days. Is it ever acceptable to lie to your wife? Is it ever acceptable to scare the living daylights out of your wife? Well, after much anguish over the ethics of the situation, I decided to go ahead with my plan and throw a surprise birthday party for Sarah last night. Birthdays bring up so many ethical questions that we would not normally even think about. I started plotting with some friends at church a few weeks ago.

This was Sarah's plan: Sarah and I decided that after she got home from work last night we would go to downtown Greenville and eat at a nice pizza place and walk around the beautiful downtown area.

Here is what really happened: Sarah came home from work early yesterday and we went shopping for frames for the oil painting that we bought in Italy (which is going to cost more than the painting itself). We visited two framing places here in town then we made a quick stop at Lowe's so Sarah could get some ideas on how to spend her gift card that her coworkers bought her. I though she should put it toward a grill, but she wanted to spend it on boring landscaping stuff.

After we had killed some time in Lowe's, it was 6:00 and everyone should have been at our house by then. At that exact moment I "happened" to have a slight asthma attack and realized that I had "forgotten" my inhaler at home. When we got home I got Sarah to come in the house and there she got a little surprise . . . and she almost passed out.

We had a great time; ate some pizza; ate some ice cream; all the good party stuff. The party lasted long into the night (10:30- I must be getting old). Sarah got some cool scrapbooking stuff, some money, a gift card to Michael, some movies (The Love Bug and The Parent Trap), a bluetooth headset for her new pink razr phone, and some candles (and a really big surprise).

Happy Birthday Sarah!!

2006-06-02T11:35:00.000-04:00

Today is my beautiful wife's birthday. Last week was, of course, our second anniversary. I now know why she wanted to get married in the end of May- so she could get a lot of presents for birthday and anniversary and they would be perfectly spaced out from Christmas.

Sarah and I in Venice in April.

I learned something new this morning. Don't RSVP to attend a conference on Acute Myocardial Infarctions (in the vernacular: heart attacks) at 8:00 AM after you have been working all night. If it were a large class I could get away with sleeping if I needed to- if you don't believe me ask the people who sat next to me during my college years. However, today's meeting was around a conference table and since I was the third person to arrive I couldn't exactly sit all the way at the other end of the table.

To make it even worse/better, they served us breakfast. After some fruit, a muffin, and a Krispy Kreme donut (which is in my diet) I was ready for a long nap. Fortunately they also provided fully caffeinated coffee, of which I eagerly partook. As a result I am now half asleep mentally but typing quite fast. Unfortunately, my typing skills are not up to par with the speed that I am typing so I am having to fix a lot of mistakes.

It turned out that the "conference" was actually the hospital 's way of picking our brains for ways that we could work together with them more effectively as a team. It was also an attempt on their part to try to use us to win customers from the other hospital here in town.

In the end, I really did enjoy the conference and even learned from it; it was very informative for me as a future EMS director (yeah, you can laugh now).

Quote of the day

2006-05-29T21:27:00.000-04:00

"If you don't stand behind our troops . . . feel free to stand in front of them."
-Unknown

What Next?

2006-05-27T00:35:00.000-04:00

So we're done with the Atkins diet and the South Beach diet. Anorexia has not been in style since the days of Twiggy. So what is the new diet fad going to be? The Da Vinci Code Diet.

Yes, that's right. There is a new diet gaining momentum in the subculture of Oprah and all the other perpetual fad dieters. The concept behind this is the "Golden Ratio" which is a mathematical concept used by the builders of pyramids and Leonardo Da Vinci. Da Vinci's use of the Golden Ratio in his paintings was used in the book "The Da Vinci Code."

So apparently if you use the Golden Ratio to restructure your food pyramid, it will help you to lose weight, with the minor side effect of causing you to be gullible enough to believe outrageous and poorly researched heresies.

The proponent of the Da Vinci Code diet is a man named Stephan Lanzolotta from Portland, Maine. I guess we know why it's called the "Da Vinci Code Diet." The "Lanzolotta Diet" just doesn't have the same ring to it, plus it's a pain in the adipose tissue to spell.

The diet consists mainly of fish, cheese, bread, veggies, meats, and nuts. Pretty much the exact opposite of the other recent fad diets.

I'm confused. Is the best diet low fat? or is it low calorie? or is it low carb? or is it low fact and large doses of heresy? I don't know but I do know that these diet gurus need to make up their collective diet-obsessed minds and settle on one lose-weight quick scheme. In the meantime, I'll stick to the "Crispy Creme Diet."

Funny Story

2006-05-24T15:31:00.000-04:00

Everything I have posted up to this point has been original. This post is from an email that I received. I hate forwards, but usually read them anyways. If you send me a forward, it had better be funny; if I get to the end and it is sad or sappy, I will not be happy!

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it,and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first."Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start things out with my bear".

My Visit to the Modern Torture Chambers

2006-05-23T21:11:00.000-04:00

I finally had a dentist appointment today, which is my first since high school. I know that's bad but now that I have dental insurance I have no excuse.

The dental hygenist led me back to the room after I filled out the mountain of paperwork and got me ready for my check up. I leaned back in the nice comfortable chair and looked and the flat panel TV on the ceiling that was showing only a picture of some pink flowers on it; too bad- I wanted to watch CSI or something while I was getting tortured. I guess it could have been worse; they could have made me watch reruns of "The Nanny" with the volume turned way up. Now THAT would have been torture!

Dentist office's have come a long way since high school. I think my last dentist had a picture of a puppy or a kitten on his ceiling.

I didn't have much time to contemplate on the TV screen because the hygenist got right to work. It was at that moment that I remembered why people hate dentist office visits. She said my teeth didn't look too bad for 7 years without a cleaning but she sure did a lot of scraping. The worst part was I could never tell when she was in the room when she wasn't scraping because I was reclined in the chair. I would go 2-3 minutes without seeing or hearing her and just as I thought it was safe to let go of that gas I'd been holding she would pop back into my line of vision and start digging again.

Four hours later ( I think) when she was done, the muscles around my mouth were so sore that I couldn't close my mouth and I wasn't sure if I had teeth left. There was no mirror in the room, but if there had been I'm sure I had blood all over my face.

The dentist came in and glanced at my teeth; seeing nothing greatly amiss, he took a quick look at mu X-rays before leaving the room. That was where the problem was. Apparently my two upper cuspids are both baby teeth and the adult teeth above them are perfectly poised to come in when the baby ones fall out. Apparently my dental development gland fell asleep on the job 11 years ago and hasn't gotten back to work yet. You can't see the other teeth or anything and they didn't bother me until today. The dentist told me that if he had only looked at my xray and hadn't seen me, he would have guessed that I was 12 or 13. Of course, if he spent more time with me he really may have started to think that.

We'll see what the orthodontist has to say about my funky teeth. I think they're fine the way they are. Can you imagine how stupid I will look with two teeth missing at the same time? Don't answer that.

Come to think of it, I may just blend right in with some of the people around here.

After all that the dentist office gave me a free toothbrush and some free floss. How cheap is that? They couldn't even give out a little candy or anything.

Lessons Learned

2006-05-14T22:36:00.000-04:00

Having grown up in New England, I always knew that when you go outside in the winter you do not touch your tongue to anything frozen, especially metal. I'm not sure why you would want to lick a water pump handle or a flagpole, but it has been done.

Fortunately, I live in South Carolina now so I don't have to worry about those sub zero winters. Of course I don't have to worry about getting my tongue stuck on cold metal. Right?

Well, I learned something new last week. An ice cream scoop that still has some ice cream on it can cause the same reaction to a wet tongue that a frozen flagpole can. I also learned that you should obey your common sense and use hot water to get your tongue off and not assume that it will only hurt for a minute when you yank it off.

Actually, if you yank it off, it will take a small chunk of tissue with it. I have licked off thousands of ice creams scoops and never gotten stuck before; but this time was different. I got it stuck on my tongue and the back of my upper lip; if you put your finger on the inside of your upper lip and feel around for the most sensitive spot, you've got exactly where it stuck. After I ripped the spoon out, my tongue escaped unscathed but my lip was not so fortunate. After the pain subsided, I sat down to eat my ice cream and noticed the taste of blood in my mouth.

Needless to say, I have learned my lesson. My mouth is still very sensitive when I eat, four days later, especially when I eat salty food (or say, the vinegar in Italian dressing at a particular wedding reception!).

The animals at Drayton

2006-05-14T16:40:00.000-04:00

We saw quite a bit of wildlife while at Drayton Hall. The one I didn't get a picture of was a large snake that I saw just the tail end of as it disappeared into some bushes.

There were lizards all over the place. They were cool but they kept trying to sell us car insurance.

This little raccon had gotten separated from its family and was sleeping in the grass. I don't think it was hurt but it looked pretty pitiful. It tasted like chicken. Just kidding. We reported it to the park staff.
During our hike in the woods, we happened upon this little rabbit. It kept a wary eye on us but let us get up pretty close.

Charleston

2006-05-14T16:17:00.000-04:00

Friday we left for a short jaunt down to Charleston for a friend's wedding. Sarah's brother lives near Charleston so we saved a little money and camped out in his living room.

Saturday morning we went to Drayton Hall Plantation which is "the oldest plantation house in America open for tours." It was old. And beautiful. The interior of the house had not been restored but you could still se the ornate work of the builders. It makes me wonder how they did that with the technology available in that day. It's quite remarkable.

Drayton Hall was on a large plot of land on the Ashley River. After the house tour we walked around and admired the land and the wildlife. Wildlife pictures to follow this blog.

Around noon we left for Charleston. We parked and walked down to Market Street. I wanted to eat at Bocci's, an Italian restaurant that we ate at last time. Unfortunately they are only open for dinner. We ate at the Charleston Crab House instead. I had a Mediterranean Pasta that had scallops, shrimp, olives, and feta cheese in a white wine sauce over fettucine. It was soo good.

We walked down on the water front and down to the battery and then all the way up Market street to where we were parked. Charleston is really a beautiful old city. I don't think I could ever live there- between the $1,000,000 price tags and being in the city- but it is a wonderful place to visit.

We left downtown and went to the park where the wedding was going to be. Since we had just come from walking around I had to change into my suit in the car (Sarah had been able to change more modestly) but I was able to find a remote place to park and change.

Dan and Susan's wedding was very elegant and beautiful, I must say. the ceremony was outside in the park and the weather was perfect with maybe just a little wind.

The ceremony was at a nice hotel on the other side of the river.We had a choice of chicken or beef for dinner and both had the chicken. We had a great time catching up with some other friends from school.

Well, the party's over and we are safely home. With Nathan living so close to Charleston we will definately be visiting with him a lot. Maybe next time he and his wife can accompany us.

The Downside of a Good Day Out

2006-05-12T10:30:00.000-04:00

After I returned from the baseball game yesterday I found one of the unpleasant results of spending a wonderful day outside having fun. I was playing with Carina and she jumped up and scratched my leg, just above my knee. It was at that moment that I realized that sitting down at the game for 3 hours had caused my shorts to come up a little bit, exposing about 4 inches of the untanned skin of my upper legs- for three straight hours. My legs were bright red and quite warm. Ouch. This morning in the shower I also found out that my arms were burnt too, even though I con't see any redness. Either that or the water in the shower had turned to some sort of corrosive acid that was burning its way down my legs and arms.

Wahoo! We won!!!!!

2006-05-11T16:10:00.000-04:00

My friend (and former roomate in college) Jared and I went to a Greenville Drive game today. It was supposed to be a large group of us but in my infinite wisdom I chose a time where no one else could attend. Well, the two of us had fun.

The Greenville Drive are a Single-A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox.

We arrived at the stadium early to buy tickets and made our way to the ticket booth. I ran into a nurse I know from the ER and we got to talking. It turns out they bought tickets for a group and had two extra tickets that they gave us. We got in for free; how cool is that? The seats were awesome too. Just on the outfield side of first base.

The game got started off well with the Drive taking the lead. After the second inning some of the PR people came out on the field and threw T-shirts into the crowd. Apparently I made enough noise because they threw one to me ( I know I made some noise because my throat hurts now).

The visiting team (Hickory Crawdads-yes, you can laugh, we did too) took the lead in the top of the fourth but the Drive came back and tied it 2-2 in the bottom of the 4th. No more runs were scored all the way into the bottom of the ninth when the bases were loaded with 2 outs. The wind up, the pitch . . . hit deep to center field, WAY DEEP TO CENTER FIELD, IT'S GONE! WALK OFF GRAND SLAM!!! (I may have made some noise here too)

How cool is that?

Anyway, the Drive's brand new ballpark is built in the middle of downtown Greenville and is modeled after Fenway Park in Boston (if you didn't know Fenway was in Boston, you can leave my blog now and not come back), complete with a Green Monster. It's not quite Fenway but the best seats in the house are $8.00 so it's a good substitute. No Boston Baked Beans though.

I forgot my camera so I downloaded this picture. It is on my blog courtesy of Ballpark Digest. We pretty much sat right in front of where this picture was taken; right where that bald guy is (no, that's not me).

You're Interested in what?!?!?

2006-05-03T14:03:00.000-04:00

I have been searching on blogger.com under people's interests, just to see what kind of things people put down. (I am supposed to be working in the yard right now but it is hot and I am tired.) I came inside, poured a mixed drink (kool-aid and Sierra Mist-try it sometime!) checked my email, and got distracted.

There is a lady from North Carolina who listed "Cloth Diapers" as one of her interests. Now, I don't know how many kids she has, but I really can't see cloth diapers as interesting regardless of how many stinky rugrats you have. I wonder if this is a common interest; is there a Cloth Diapers magazine? Support groups?

One person listed"linux, guns, electronics." That sounds like a very dangerous person to me. they probably have their own personal agent in the ATF (whether they know it or not).

There is an 18 year old who listed 80s music as an interest. Now I can see having an interest in music in general, or a genre of music, or even a particular decade of music-like the 50s, but 80s music? 80s music sounded bad in the 80s!

Here's another good combination- "pokemon, grapefruit, dinosaurs." What?!? Believe it or not, this person was over 18.

How about "fire twirling"? That sounds like a winner. I can imagine how that guy's dates go.
Girl: So what do you like to do for hobbies?
Guy: Well, I like fire twirling.
Girl: What's that?
Guy: Well, it's where you light sticks on fire and spin them around and try not to drop them. If you're really good, you can juggle them and stuff.
Girl: Oh, you know what? I just realized I'm supposed to have a colonoscopy today. I have to go.

How can one admit to having an interest in "rare chickens"? I have nothing to comment on this one. I can't even think of how to mock this hobby.

"Tatoos, crocheting, breastfeeding."

I think that's about all I can handle right now. I know that these people probably look at my interests page or read my blog and laugh at me, but seriously-cloth diapers?

Back Porch

2006-04-30T17:01:00.000-04:00

Matt came over today and helped me finish the back porch in time for the party tonight. The theme of our party is "Eat lots of leftovers from the church party last night." Sounds like my kind of party!

Sarah and I were voted in as members of our church this morning. We are very thankful that we have a great place to worship and good friends there as well.

Back Porch

2006-04-29T21:03:00.000-04:00

Today we went to our church's Family Fun Day. We played some softball, volleyball, basketball, and ate a lot of food. The guys and I did the grillin' for the picnic. We cooked 30 pounds of burgers and 10 pounds of hot dogs and it actually tasted pretty good!

After the picnic, some friends came over and helped work on our back porch. We knocked out the wall and replaced it with some 4X4 posts. We got a lot done in a short time. I'll probably be able to finish tomorrow afternoon. "Many hands make light work."

The Things Women do . . .

2006-04-27T21:48:00.000-04:00

My wife's newest makeup/facial pampering thing is a process/cream/torture device called "microdermabrasion," which she has encouraged me to use several times. She says that "it makes your face feel sooo good." I have declined simply because of the connotations of the word itself.

Let's break down the word "microdermabrasion."

Micro- very small.

Derm- referring to skin.

Abrasion- A medical term for "a scraped area on the skin"- commonly called "road rash."

Now put it all together. "Very small road rash on your face". Hmmm, sounds like fun to me!

What she says- "Hey, would you like to use my microdermabrasion? It makes your face feel really good!" What I hear- "Hey, would you like to cause road rash on your face with this abrasive cream that I have?"

I have to give it to her though; she does have a really soft face. Maybe there is something to this modern torture cream.

Picture Page

2006-04-27T21:46:00.000-04:00

I now have a small selection of the pictures that we have taken recently on Flickr.com (I'm still trying to figure out what that stands for). The link is on the right.

House Progress

2006-04-26T22:12:00.000-04:00

Here are the pictures of the dining room and the kitchen. The last door and drawer for the kitchen were installed about a month ago. The floor in the dining room was finished on Monday and we are moving all of the furniture into there now. The next big project will probably be the back porch. We will also be doing trim work on the inside as we have money. Let me know if you would like the name and number of my cabinet maker. He is definitely the best in the business!

Terror on Ice

2006-04-21T22:34:00.000-04:00

What a day! I worked last night at my part time job. Shortly after midnight we got dispatched to a gas station for a "sick person." Yes, that is very vague to us too. When we get there, our sick person was in police custody after they had arrived on scene and found him standing in the road. Our patient was unable to give us any information. Useful information, that is. His answer to every question was "Jesus is here with me; you can't do nothin to me." Whenever I would try to provide any treatment for him, he would say "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do." Interestingly enough, both my partner and I are new medics and had not come across this particular situation before so in a way, we may not have known what we were doing. (We found out later this gentleman was high on crack).

This afternoon Carina and I worked on obedience training. I have a training collar for her and today we were working on "stay" and "heel."

Tonight Sarah and I went ice skating with our friend Lana. There was supposed to be a larger group but no one else was able to make it. I've always found ice skating to be enjoyable but it is a delicate balance between pleasure and sheer terror. I wouldn't be quite as worried if there weren't other people there. That would lessen the embarrassment from falling and also make it easy to navigate. Ice skating is like driving a truck with no brakes through a crowded place. I managed to not run anyone over and Sarah and I took turn holding each other up. We escaped unscathed.

There was a small crowd of rowdy people there, but they weren't too bad. It wasn't very crowded for a Friday night. There was a little girl with the short skirt and thick tights and the whole figure skater get up who kept trying stunts that she obviously was not ready for; it was mildly humorous but I was afraid I might have to work.

From watching figure skating during the Olympics I kept hearing some phrases that I didn't understand. Like "sow cow" for instance. I never saw any sow cows at the Olympics, even in the stands. There were a few of them there tonight. They weren't very graceful either; I don't know why they award points for that in competition. As for "triple axels" I did see one set of three axels-it was on the Zamboni.

I don't get this skating thing.

From Wachowski to Nietzsche

2006-04-11T21:50:00.000-04:00

This evening Sarah and I went to the library to return the books we borrowed to entertain ourselves on the way to and from Italy. We had a few novels, three travel books on Italy, and one non-fiction.

I find great irony in the diversity of books in a library. On one shelf you can find books on philosophy by Nietzsche, Plato, and Marcus Aurelius; walk down one shelf and you will find The Redneck Night Before Christmas. Go to the art section and you will find Monet on the same shelf as The Art of The Matrix by the Wachowski brothers.

In spite of the great diversity, it seems I can never find what I want. First of all, the Dewey Decimal System makes sense on paper, but I can never seem to find anything with it in real life. Secondly, whenever I am looking for a certain subject, they never seem to have the exact book that I want.

I usually go in to find a book in one topic but in trying to find that one book I stumble across other interesting books and stop and browse them for a little while. The short trip to the library ends up taking hours.

By the time I am done in the library, three or four hours later, I have managed to find three or four books from completely unrelated topics that look moderately interesting. Victory! Unfortunately the sweet taste of victory is short lived due to my inabiliy to straighten my neck after twisting it at an uncomfortable angle for hours to read the book titles.

Day 8- Rome to home

2006-04-09T21:05:00.000-04:00

Saturday was extremely long. It seemed as if time slowed down for us; in essence it did. Our flight left Rome at 11:15 and landed in Philly at 3:30, 11 hours later. The exciting part was that our next flight, to Charlotte, left at 4:30 so we had one hour to be on the next plane. First take off the 15 minutes that it takes to get off of an airplane from row 31, then subtract another 10 minutes because boarding actually ended at 4:20. That leaves us with 35 minutes- not too bad, right?

Our first stop was immigration and Sarah and I got there quickly and were the second and third people in line. We were doing great, except the person in front of us ended up getting lugged away by the border patrol; so now our line was closed and all the other lines were full. Scott and Felicia were in the next line over and got permission from the immigration officer that was running their line to let us join them since we were together.

Next stop was the baggage carousel. That took forever and then some it seemed. By the time we got our bags and headed for the customs line it was 4:05. We got through customs pretty quickly since we didn't have anything to declare and we re-checked our luggage and headed for the terminal that our next plane was in. The last stop was security. For some reason, they had it arranged at that airport that you can't go from the international terminal to the domestic terminals without leaving the secure area. Fortunately we all made it through quickly.

We made it to our flight with no time to spare- 4:22. The plane was still there and we got on our last flight.

We had tickets all the way to Greenville, but had a 3 hour layover in Charlotte. Some friends of Scott and Felicia drove to Charlotte and picked us up. We went to their house, got our car, went and got Carina, went home and got in bed as our plane was taking off in Charlotte. I think we made the right choice.

The only downside was that our luggage was still on the plane. First thing this morning we drove to GSP airport and picked up our luggage thus ending the saga that was our vacation. Tomorrow we both return to work and real life begins again. Oh well.

Day 7- Perugia

2006-04-07T13:06:00.000-04:00

After breakfast this morning Sarah and I went for a bike ride around the valley. Umbria, the province that the Di Bagnos live in, is 99% hills and mountains; the Di Bagnos live in the 1% of Umbria that is not mountainous. The valley here is very flat and makes for a very peaceful bike ride early in the morning. We avoid the busy roads because of the traffic (and the driving habits that I have already mentioned).
Our last destination city is Perugia. We drove the 20 minutes to Perugia this morning and hiked up the mountain to the city on the top. Perugia is the "capital" of Umbria and has about 250,000 people in it. You can see the city from the terrace at the Di Bagno’s house. As with most cities in Italy, the old city center is a large piazza on top of the hill. The unique architectural feature of the city is the large gate on the north side of the city; it was built by the Etruscans over 2300 years ago. Inside one of the buildings on the campus of the University of Perugia is a giant mosaic dating back to Roman times that depicts the animals brought over from Africa for the games.
For lunch we had lasagna made by the Di Bagno’s neighbor who fed us last night. Once again, it did not disappoint. We also had some leftovers from last night. We went to the grocery store today to pick up some chocolate and olives. We are almost packed for the return flight tomorrow.
All in all, I really enjoyed my vacation and I wish it could be longer. I am still trying to devise a plan by which we could move over here and support ourselves. Unfortunately, the EMS services over here are mostly volunteer so I would have to change careers. We will see . . .

Day 6 – Orvieto, Bagnoreggio

2006-04-06T17:55:00.000-04:00

(My spellchecker is going nuts right now with all these Italian names)
Orvieto is a small city, built on a plateau just south of Umbria. It has massive cliffs all around the city that make it into a natural fortress. The city was first settled in the Etruscan times and was fought over for years after that. As a fortress, it was impenetrable except for one weakness- the town had no water supply on top of the hill. The Romans realized the value of this fortress and took it from the Etruscans after a two year seige. After the times of Constantinople, it became a refuge for the pope in case Rome was in danger. To solve the water supply, the Romans dug a well 400 feet deep and 20 feet across. The well had two spiral staircases around the edge that allowed donkeys to go down one stairway, get loaded with water at the bottom, and return up the other stairway. You can still walk down the well and see the water at the bottom. There is always about five feet of water at the bottom, no matter how much or how little raain has fallen. Also, it is always between 50-55 degrees down there.
The duomo in Orvieto is simply amazing. The blocks for the outside wall were laid in alternating white and black colored blocks, giving it a striped appearance. The front facade is Gothic with unbelievable carvings and decorations. The inside was not disappointing either.
We also went into the Orvieto underground. There are close to 1800 tunnels under the ground in Orvieto where the Etruscans, then later the Romans, then later the medieval Orvietans had storage and workshops. They also had pigeon coops underground, open to the cliff wall. This would provide them with a renewable source of food in case of seige.
After Orvieto, we made a quick stop at Bagnoreggio which is also called "the city that is dying." The city, like Orvieto, was built on a hill. Unlike Orvieto, it was built on sandstone which is eroding. Over time, as the side of the cliffs collapse, houses are lost into the valley. The Di Bagnos have recognized a visible difference each time they visit. The city is taking precautions to slow the process, but most likely it will all eventually fall away.
Tonight we had another adventure. The Di Bagnos next door neighbors hosted us for an enormous meal. We started with some bread with patte and some olives. Our second dish was penne in a spicy red sauce (I learned to eat slow; if I finished a plate too soon, it would be filled back up immediately). Our third dish was chicken legs in the same red sauce. Our fourth dish was a salad with "the best olive oil in the world" on it; I was inclined to believe it, too. Our fifth dish was a roasted chicken with a ton of spices on it; of course, no knife was needed to cut any meat. Finally we had some sort of pie for dessert. The whole meal lasted two and a half hours. The hostess apologized for the meal being "so simple." Whatever. It was bennisimo!

Day 5-Sante Angelo di Celle, Assisi, Deruta

2006-04-06T17:54:00.001-04:00

The big trip of the day was to Assisi. Assisi is a small town, about 20 minutes from here, that was once the home to the famous Catholic saint St. Francis. St. Francis lived in the 12th Century and became a very famous man in his time. Because of St Francis, Assisi is the second most visited "Holy" city for Catholics, after the Vatican. There are so many tales about him in this area of Italy, that in able to have actually performed them he would have had to have lived 100 years instead of 44. I’m sure half of the stories are not true. There is a town which claims it originated when St. Francis spent the night there. It is said that Francis went to the top of a mountain and threw a stick off and said "wherever this lands, I will spend the night." So Francis slept in this place, it became famous and people began living there because they revered him so much. There is one glaring problem with this story . . . the stick landed 3 miles from where he supposedly threw it.
In modern news, Assisi is a very picturesque little town built on the side of a hill in northern Umbria. The streets are lined with little shops, pizzarias, and trattorias (restaurants). On the main piazza (square) there is a church which was originally built by the Romans as a temple to Minerva; it became a town hall for some time and was then taken over by the Catholic church in the Middle ages. The front facade is a Corinthian style building with six enormous pillars.
The Basilica of St. Francis is at the end of town and is the largest church in Assisi. The inside is built in the cross style typical of medieval churches and the walls and ceilings are covered with magnificent frescoes. It is so hard to describe how massive and ornate these buildings are. Anyways, underneath the main cathedral is another ornate chapel with more paintings and beautiful architecture. Below that level, is the tomb of St Francis. His body is actually on display, although his face, feet, and hands are covered with wax to make the body more presentable (the rest of him is clothed, naturally). Trust me, these "liberties" are not taken with all the saints that are entombed in glass displays in the churches over here.
Other than the churches in Assisi (and the pizzarias), we only saw one more notable sight. On top of the hill is a large fortress dating back to the 15th century. It was quite a vigorous climb to the fortress. After climbing the hill on foot, we sat down and caught our breathe. Then we rested some more. We are so out of shape. We went into the fortress and climbed up in the towers for a windy photo opportunity.
Our next stop after Assisi was Deruta. The Di Bagnos live in Sante Angelo di Celle which is actually considered a community of Deruta. We stopped by the Di Bagnos for a few minutes to get a drink. I had a splitting headache and stayed behind for this excursion.
Deruta is known for its exclusive ceramics. Sarah absolutely loves their style of ceramics and is always excited to go shopping for some. The town is actually very small but half of the stores in town sell solely ceramics. The actual center of town is, as most medieval cities were, on top of a small hill. It is typical of medieval town with protective walls and gates, narrow streets and really narrow alleys. There is a town near here called Citta del Pieve which boasts the narrowest street in Italy at 30 inches wide. The street is called Vicolo Baciadonne, which means "kiss the women Street," evidently because if you pass a woman on the street you don’t have much of a choice.

Day 4- Venice

2006-04-06T17:54:00.000-04:00

This morning we started off with the hotel complimentary breakfast, which consisted mostly of toast and cereal with coffee and OJ. After breakfast we headed to St. Mark’s Square (Piazza Santo Marco) via the Rialto Bridge. The Rialto Bridge is one of only two bridges over the Grand Canal and has shops along both sides. It was fairly crowded but not as bad as the sights in Rome were.
After crossing the bridge we headed down to St Mark’s Square, which is essentially on the farthest corner of the city from our hotel. The square is enormous and is, like you will see in movies and travel books, filled with pigeons. We were earlier than most of the tourist so we were able to get tickets up into the bell tower beside the duomo (the duomo is the largest church in the city). The top level of the bell tower is the highest point in Venice at about 7-8 stories tall and gives a very impressive view of Venice, Mestre to the north (the city across the water on the mainland), the Adriatic Sea to the south and east and the Alps in the far north.
The duomo, St Marks Basilica, is a massive church with five domes. The interior ceiling and the front facade is decorated with gold mosaics depicting the lives of different saints and apostles. I will not even try to describe the church in detail because it is just something that you will have to see. It is just massive.
After visiting the church, we walked along the water and did some shopping, then made our way back to the Rialto bridge via an inland route. Since it was lunch time we started looking for a nice pizzaria to eat in. We found one on a back street away from all the tourist traps. The staff was all Chinese, which looked bad, but almost all of the patrons were Venetians, which looked very good. The pizza was very good and the service was not bad, which is really surprising for here. Sarah and I had capriccosa pizza which had olives, mushrooms, artichokes, and prosciutto on it. A lot of Americans ask me what the pizza is like over here. The crust is usually thinner, there is less cheese and the tomato sauce is thinner, but it tastes better somehow. My theory is that everything is fresh and hand made. A pizza like that in America would cost about $20 because of the time and quality of materials involved; here it was 5 euros apiece.
After lunch, we checked out of the hotel and left Venice to return to the Di Bagnos. This time we took the Auto Strada, Italy’s interstate system, back through Bologna, Ferrara, and Florence. We were not able to stop in any of those cities due to time constraints, but we did see the duomo in Florence from a distance.

Day 3-Venice

2006-04-06T17:53:00.000-04:00

We left Sante Angelo di Celle early this morning and headed out for Venice. I had my international driver’s license with my but my SC driver’s license was in my wallet when it was stolen in Rome. Technically, my international license is invalid without my SC license, but nothing can be done about that now.
Driving in Italy is truly an adventure. Everyone drives as though they have nine lives. I love it. The Italians are the friendliest, most laid back people you can imagine . . . until they get behind the wheel of a car or scooter. There were several times that I was driving 20 km/h over the speed limit and people were behind me honking and flashing their lights to pass me. Not to mention that it is fun to look at the speedometer and see the needle on 120! There is an amazing law over here; on any four lane road, the trucks must stay in the right lane. Can you imagine if they passed that law in the US?
The drive to Venice is supposed to take about 4-5 hours and the route that we took takes you through some of the most scenic parts of Umbria (where the Di Bagnos live) and Tuscany. The fog was so thick this morning that we could not see very far. In addition, there were so many trucks on the road that I began measuring visibility in truck lengths. "It is clearing up a little; I can see up to six trucks in front of us." I spent a good part of the morning trying to pass the trucks and finally passed the last pesky truck and found open road about 30 km south of Venice. The open road lasted for about 5 km and we came to a dead stop. I still do not know what caused the delay, but we sat still for an hour, ate lunch; I finally ran out of patience and grabbed the map and found a route around the delay. 25 minutes later we were crossing the bridge into Venice.
Lunch, by the way was ham and cheese sandwiches, which I usually do not enjoy very much. Today, however, the ham was prosciutto (If you can find it in the states it is usually $18 per pound) and the cheese was some variety of local cheese.
Of course the streets in Venice are either glorified sidewalks or canals, so once you drive onto the island you are forced to either turn around or park in the garage. We parked and began the walk to our hotel. Venice is , of course, on an island and has a series of canals running throughout the city. The canals all connect to the Grand Canal that runs from the northwest corner of the city to the southwest corner. The smaller canals are about 2-3 meters deep and the Grand Canal is about 5-6 meters deep.
We found our hotel yesterday on the internet. The website is www.virtualtourist.com. I highly recommend it as all the information on it was left by tourists. We stayed in the Albergo Marin. "Albergo" means simply "hotel." It was only about two blocks from the garage and one block back from the grand canal. The hotel was great, especially for the price. It was set back in a small alley in a residential area; it was clean and the staff was very friendly (they even lent us umbrellas when it rained). It was not very ornate, but was attractive and quaint.
Rain was predicted today, but it way still sunny so we decided to take our gondola ride immediately so we wouldn’t get rained on in the boat. We found a gondola driver who was available and took our ride. It lasted about 40 minutes and was very relaxing. We went out on the Grand Canal and also went through some of the side tunnels. The driver’s English was not very good so Sarah and her mother interpreted for the rest of us (he also couldn’t/wouldn’t sing and spent about 20 minutes on his cell phone). All in all, we enjoyed our ride and saw a small section of the city.
We spent several hours shopping and walking around. Sarah and I bought some oil paintings on canvas and some knick knacks for some of our friends. Venice is well known for its hand blown and hand painted glass and there are about a thousand shops in town. We got turned around a little bit, but once I got a map of the city we did not get lost again. We explored several parts of the city near our hotel and countless churches.
Monday night for dinner we ate at a small restaurant on the north side of the canal. They have "tourist menus" that are a great deal. Italian meals are several courses and are designed to take 1-3 hours to eat. With the tourist menu, you get to pick an appetizer, a first course, a second course, and a dessert. I had gnocci with tomato sauce, salad, baked fish, and coffee. Sarah had lasagna, fried potatoes (essentially French Fries), baked chicken and creme caramel. Everything was good except for the creme caramel.

Day 2- Sante Angelo di Celle

2006-04-06T17:52:00.000-04:00

Well, I have been having internet connection problems here so I have not been able to update regularly. Here is a run down of the recent events. I will attach pictures when I return to the states.

Today was spent in church and relaxing. We were able to see several of Sarah’s childhood friends (during those times, I stand there and smile and nod as if I know what the conversation is about, but I am totally lost). I actually know enough Italian to follow some conversations, but not all. I do get worried when I hear my name a lot followed by laughter. We had a wonderful lunch of pasta and roasted turkey with herbs today. Magnifico!

Italy-Day1

2006-04-02T05:56:00.000-04:00

Day one was quite an adventure. We made it to GSP on time and got our tickets. Note for future travels: when you buy tickets on Priceline, they assign you random seats; none of us were seated together, on any flights. We were able to be seated together with a little begging. After takeoff, the flight was very choppy and the pilot came on to say that they were having trouble retracting the landing gear (to which I wondered- if we are having problems raising the landing gear, shouldn’t we leave them down? I can put up with a rough flight if it means an easy landing!) Fortunately, because the landing was rough enough with landing gear, the landing gear did come back down when we landed.
We suffered through a five hour layover in Philly and finally boarded the plane. We pulled away from the gate and began taxiing to the runway. After about 150 yards, we stopped and the pilot announced we were having technical problems and would return to the gate for repairs for about 30 minutes. Two hours later we taxied to the runway and sat there in line for an hour. The flight from Philly to Rome was one of the smoothest that I have ever had. Even though we were in coach, we still had individual TVs. I watched Monsters, Inc and read two books on the flight.
Upon landing in Rome (already three hours late) we breezed through immigration and customs, then waited for an hour in baggage claim. We finally met up with Sarah’s dad and left for the train station to Rome. We stored our baggage in a lock up in the train station and went out to tour Rome.
Rome was unbelievably busy today. This week is the one year anniversary of Pope John Paul’s death, Italy’s elections, and it is also American college’s spring break. Our first stop was the Coliseum. Even though I’ve been there before, it was still breathtaking. We went from there through the Roman Forum, the old downtown area. Next we went on the metro(subway) and visited the Trevi Fountain. The tradition is to each throw a coin backwards over your head into the water and good things are supposed to happen to you. What a great idea! Throw money away and expect good things to miraculously happen to you. What idiot would do that? We got our picture taken with all of us throwing money into the fountain.
After the Trevi Fountain we got some gelati, which is Italian ice cream, not related to "Italian Ice" in America. It was delicious! We also went to visit the Spanish stairs. I don’t know why they are called the "Spanish Stairs" when they are in Rome, but I will check on that. The stairs were very crowded and we had about an hour and a half before the last train left Rome so we took off to Termini, Rome’s Grand Central Station.
On the Metro to Termini, I was fortunate to be the only one in our group to fully experience the Roman culture. I was pickpocketed. Other than our group, there were two people close enough to me to rob me, one who mysteriously disappeared off the Metro when we stopped- just as I was saying "where’s my wallet?" I cleaned out my wallet before I came so all I had in there was 120 euro (about US $140), my driver’s license and two credit cards. It would have been much worse if I had lost all of my EMS certifications and such. Oh well, it had to happen eventually. I have been to Africa, Japan, England, and Italy and have traveled on subways in New York, Rome, Chicago, Boston, and DC. I was due.
We bought our train tickets and arrived at the platform just in time to see our train leave. We waved. We waited another hour and caught the last train out of town. The rest of our trip was uneventful and we made it to the Di Bagnos’ house safely.
Tomorrow and Tuesday we will be in Venice. Let’s hope that not every day is this eventful

Joinin' the club

2006-03-30T11:37:00.000-05:00

My sister Mel just started a blog. See the link on the right for her blog.

Call Me Moses

2006-03-30T08:49:00.000-05:00

On Monday night, shortly after I posted my last entry, I had a life changing experience. I saw a burning bush- that no one else saw. I was working at my part time EMS job on a truck outside of the city in the suburbs. We were transporting a routine back pain patient to the hospital (he just wanted more narcotics); I was driving and my partner, Kendra, was in the back with the patient. As I neared the hospital, I started to smell smoke. Across the street from the hospital was a bank with a row of bushes in front of it. That is not so abnormal, except that one of the bushes was on fire. It was not near anything else except for grass and other bushes which were not on fire. I felt a sudden urge to remove my boots, but I was driving so I couldn't (turns out one of my socks had slid down in my boot and was twisted and pinching). I called dispatch and advised them of the fire and to have FD on their way.

We dropped the patient off in the hospital, and gave our report to the nurse. No more than 15 minutes had passed. As we left, we drove back by the bush; there was no fire, no FD. If the fire department had seen a fire, they would have put it out, then spent at least 15-20 minutes to try to locate the cause of the fire, whether it was an electrical cord or a cigarette. The fire must have gone out before they got there. I started to think that I must have been going crazy, but Kendra assured me that she had smelled the smoke from the back of the truck. She also said that she was going to start calling me Moses.

I think the bush was a sign for me to travel to a foreign land, like Moses did. With that in mind, Sarah and I leave for Italy tomorrow. Which is kind of convenient, since we were planning that anyways. I'll try to blog while in Italy, but if I can't I'll sure have a lot to say when I return.

Sincerely,
Moses

Copycat!

2006-03-25T20:49:00.000-05:00

My mother just started a new blog. The link is on the right side of the page.

Miscommunication, Part 2

2006-03-25T16:42:00.000-05:00

You may have read my story about buying the lawnmower bagger from the guy who lived "in" Fountain Inn. If you haven't, click here: http://rwales-medic.blogspot.com/2006/03/miscommunication.html

Well, the story seems to have come to a conclusion today. Nine days after I advertised the Craftsman bagger in the classifieds a man came by and traded baggers with me. While my new bagger still is not exactly the right one, it appears that I will not need a welder to adapt it to my lawnmower. Tin snips, a drill, several extra bolts, and a lot of prayer . . . yes, but a welder, no.

He also saw some walkway stepping stones that Sarah had dug out of the lawn; they were leaning up against the front step. I told him he could take them if he wanted and he gladly obliged. I tried to think of ways to get him to take my scrap pile out of the back yard, but I was not creative enough to think of a logical sounding sales pitch. I guess I'll have to dispose of it myself.

Uno, Phase 10, Dutch Blitz, and Split

2006-03-25T16:33:00.000-05:00

Last night Sarah and I had Joe and JoAnna Reese over for dinner and games. They have been in the area job hunting for the last week as they prepare to move down this summer from Illinois. We had a great time. For dinner I made chicken breasts stuffed with ham, mozzarella and a spinach and artichoke mix. The chicken was baked with alfredo sauce and served over pasta (My parents were at Olive Garden tonight so I have to make it sound better that what they ate). We had chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream for dessert.

After dinner we played almost every card game that Sarah and I own including Uno, Phase 10, Dutch Blitz, and Split. It was a very enjoyable time reminiscing about the good 'ole days.

Retrievers

2006-03-25T16:22:00.000-05:00

So you have a dilemna. It is a beautiful spring day and you have stepped outside to practice using your fly-fishing rod in preparation for the fishing season. Just as you are getting ready to start casting, your golden retriever comes barrelling up to you and looks at you with adoring eyes, begging for you to play with her. What do you do in this situation?

I found the solution.

I tied one of Carina's squeeky toys to the end of the fly rod, and voila . . . problem solved. Carina did not seem to mind running back and forth past me as I flicked the bone back and forth and turned in circles. Plus, I could thouroughly wear out the puppy without running around the yard (looking like an idiot) until I am thouroughly exhausted. (I learned that "I'm too tired from playing with Carina" does not cut it as an excuse to not complete the day's "honey-do" list).

Vets and such

2006-03-22T15:39:00.000-05:00

Our visit to the vet was more or less uneventful for me. It was a typical vet office with about six exam rooms, two vets, receptionists, and vet techs. And of course, they had the token three-legged cat. I think all vet offices have a three-legged cat. Which brings up some questions for me. Why does a kind, gentle veterinarian take an injured cat, nurse it back to health and then keep it in a office where it can be mauled daily by sick dogs? Also, aren't you glad that human doctors don't have the same practice? "Oh, that's Bill, he was crossing the road and got hit by a car. We took out his spleen and most of his colon, now he hangs around here a lot. Careful, he bites."

Carina was very excited to see other dogs, some cats, and two rats (I think the owners called them "yorkies"). There was the minor inconvenience of being violated in ways that only humans can conceive of. She handled the shots very well and the oral medicine was fine. The thermometer on the other hand . . .

Also, we didn't see Dr. Furr as intended. We saw Dr. Cooley instead. While her name didn't quite have the ring to it that Dr. Furr's name does, she seemed like a pretty good vet.

Thursday I will take Carina to visit the family (and dogs) that she will be staying with while we are in Italy. I don't foresee any problems as Carina gets along very well with all the animals she meets, even Annie.

What's in a name?

2006-03-21T14:15:00.000-05:00

Carina is way overdue for her vaccines and check ups so I called a vet office in the area to set up an appointment. I need to get it done before we leave for Italy because we are leaving Carina with one of Sarah's coworkers who has several Golden Retrievers and Carina should have everything up to date by then.

The veterinarian's name is Dr. Furr. How perfect for someone in that professional. I did some research and the last name "Furr" comes from the Middle English "Furre" meaning a coat that is made of, or lined with fur. Maybe it is not quite so encouraging for a veterinarian's name.

So I thought it would be interesting to look up "Wales" and see the history of it (duh, let's see . . . maybe my family came from . . . I don't know . . .Wales, maybe.) Out of the 185 people who are listed as immigrating to America with the last name of Wales, 146 (79%) came from the British Isles. However, nine people came from Jamaica. Jamaica?!?!?!? I don't know what's up with that. It might be due to Jamaica's once being part of the British Empire.

Oh well, that created more questions than answers.

???????

2006-03-13T22:06:00.000-05:00

Question of the day. Why is the word "blog" not in the spell checker on this website?

Carina's Diary

2006-03-13T21:55:00.000-05:00

Here are some selections from Carina's diary. Enjoy.

Day 1: Sure is bright out here.

Day 7: My eyes opened up today. That makes things a lot easier. There's that jerk brother of mine who kicked me for four weeks straight when I had my back to him.

Day 63: Wow, what a weird day. I was in my pen playing with my sisters when these two humans came and whisked me away. Several of my other siblings had been abducted in the same way.
My captors aren't as bad as I expected. They fed me and gave me water today. This might not be half bad.

Day 65(Monday): My owner took me outside this morning and let me run around for a few minutes. As soon as I went to the bathroom, he scooped me up and threw me in my cage and then they both left for the day. Maybe I'm not supposed to use the lawn for a bathroom. I'll have to try to figure this out.

Day 66: Apparently using the inside floor for a bathroom isn't such a good idea either. This is very confusing.

Day 71: I am fully adjusted to my new home. I have a nice backyard, a big cage to sleep in at night, and two owners who play with me a lot. They must like me. It sounds like they have plans for me tomorrow. What's a bath?

Day 72: My owner tried to drown me today. I am not sure why. There seems to be no logical reason for this abuse.

Day 80: My owners feed me puppy chow every day, 3 times a day; it's not that it's bad, but you should see what they eat. It is absolutely outrage . . . oh look a fly. I can't believe such a small animal would dare get this close to the dreaded hunter. I am a dangerous animal. I am a descendant of the great lions of Africa.

Day 81: I guess I was wrong about that lions thing. Apparently I am descended from Russian circus dogs and bloodhounds. How demoralizing.

Day 93: The weather is getting much warmer now and my owners love to play with me outside. Today, my owners made a big pile of leaves in the front yard for me. I jumped in it and spread it all over the front yard. He chased me and threw a rake at me. He couldn't catch me though, so I kept running through the leaves to make him keep playing with me. That was fun!

Day 105: Today I realized something important; I am now faster than my owner.

Day 111: My owner likes to play this cheesy game where he goes out in the yard and hides; then he calls me and snickers at me while I try to find him. Today he jumped up in a tree in the backyard and called me. I found him pretty quick, but the branches were pretty thick and it took him a while to climb down to a point where he could catch his pants on a branch and fall the rest of the way. I jumped on him to make sure he knew I found him.

Day 115: He tried to drown me again today. Once I put on a few more pounds he will not be able to victimize me so easily . . .

My New Career

2006-03-13T16:39:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning with the window open above my head and the sun shining in, listening to the birds singing their songs. It was so tranquil and serene (the tranquility and serenity were aided by the fact that I have today off).

The rest of the day - not so serene. After breakfast and a lot of procrastination, and then lunch, I started mudding the drywall in the laundry room. Of all the household tasks, this ranks right down there with . . . well I can't think of anything right off. It only took me two hours to do; I would have been done sooner but I had to remove the exterior door in order to get the corner right next to the door.

No, drywalling is not my new career. I'm getting to that.

I am now fully trained to participate in rodeos and am giving serious thought to a career change in that direction. Being a paramedic is great and all, but the rodeo life is obviously for me. My specialty will be the "tie-down roping" event in which the cowboy ropes a calf by its back feet, dismounts in stride, tosses the calf on its side (called flanking- I learned that on the internet today) and ties all of its feet together. Sounds hard, huh? Not for me.

I gave Carina a bath today. Her name means "adorable" in Italian but the last few days she only fulfilled that when viewed from a distance. Once she got into smelling range she needed to be called "puzzolosa" (which means stinky in Italian) . Bathing her has gotten a little more difficult now that she has doubled her weight in the last 4 weeks and now weighs over 40 pounds. The bath itself wasn't the biggest problem though.

Once she got out of the tub and shook all over the bathroom several times, I proceeded to clean out her ears. She didn't like that. This required flipping her feet out from under her and pinning her to the ground while she kicked and wiggled. Apparently bathing a dog and drying them off causes them to "sweat" out some kind of oily lubricant that makes them impossible to hold (I hadn't heard of this biological phenomenon before, but I will have to research it). On top of that, the floor was soaking wet and I felt like I was on a Slip and Slide. The hardest part is that with all those factors, I have to clean her ears gently with the Q-tip, otherwise risking damaging her fragile ear drums. This was on the same difficulty level as painting the Mona Lisa on a live fish.

Well, it is done now. She is clean, her ears are clean and I am ready for the rodeo. No calf could be nearly as wiry as that little puppy. No calf could handle me now.

Sarah and I are going out to Olive Garden tonight so I need to get ready. Y'all northerners click on the weather link on my blog and weep.

Spring!

2006-03-12T13:33:00.000-05:00

It is a beautiful Sunday afternoon here in SC. The sun is shining with a slight breeze; it is 81 degrees outside. Without a doubt, spring is here.

I worked yesterday and got off this morning at 8:00. We had a very busy night last night and I didn't get any sleep. As soon as I got home I climbed into bed and fell fast asleep.

My wife went to church and then snuck back into the house without waking me (after last night she probably could have announced her presence with fireworks and I wouldn't have been the wiser). She cooked lunch and set up a wonderful picnic for us in the back yard.

I had a very enjoyable meal of chicken and rice with a broccoli and cheese sauce. The atmosphere was complemented well with the wonderful scent from my neighbor's magnolia tree. Carina provided the entertainment.

Miscommunication

2006-03-07T14:15:00.000-05:00

Today I got off work at 6:30 AM and drove down to Fountain Inn in my truck to buy a bagger for my lawn tractor. First of all, my truck is leaking power steering fluid so I have to fill it up every time I stop. Secondly, Fountain Inn is in the opposite direction of home from where I was working last night; way in the opposite direction. Thirdly, the seller misrepresented where he lived. He said he lived in Fountain Inn; apparently he meant that he lived in the same state as Fountain Inn. He told me to call him when I got into Fountain Inn around 8:00 this morning and he would give me directions to his house. I called him at 7:55 and he gave me some simple directions to get to Main Street and then turn left onto a country road. He said "when you get to the church call me again and I will give you more directions." (This is Greenville County, SC, how many churches could there be?) I finally passed the right church and called him back. His update was: "keep driving until you cross a bridge over a river then call again." Why didn't he tell me that the first time? About 20 minutes later, I crossed a bridged and looked down and, sure enough, there was a river down there. I pulled out my phone and redialed him. He answered and I updated him on my location(at this point I was about 10 miles into Laurens County); he then said "Okay up ahead on your right you will see my house with some lawnmowers out in the yard." Apparently he thought that I had stopped while talking to him because as he said that, his house was not up ahead but immediately to the right (as evidenced by the 30+ lawnmowers in various states of disrepair in the yard to my right). Turning in required that I pull a maneuver that I usually reserve for the big white and orange vehicles that I drive (i.e. the ones that I don't own and pay for repairs on). I pulled in and looked at the bagger which he assured me would fit my mower. He also informed me that he only took cash, which I don't carry. I then got more directions from him to the nearest bank and withdrew the money. I returned, paid him, and took the bagger, then started the long journey home.

Turns out, the bagger does not fit my mower. Apparently by "yea, that will fit your mower" he meant "that will fit a mower, somewhere." Not even close. I determined with my amazing Sherlock Holmes-like detective skills that I would need a welder, a torch, and several trips to Home Depot to adapt the bagger to the mower. So I did what MacGyver would have done . . . I advertised it in the classifieds. Oh well, a waste of 3 hours, 10 gallons of gas, and a large amount of money. Now I am just afraid that the evangelist tonight is going to preach on patience. That will be rough.

PS Anyone want a Craftsmen Bagger?

Carina

2006-03-06T14:50:00.000-05:00

It is so much fun being a dog owner again. Carina is a joy for us to take care of. She is sweet and intelligent and crazy; she plays hard and then sleeps even harder.

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
Gene Hill

House progress

2006-03-06T14:36:00.000-05:00

These last few months have been a blur with all that we've been doing. Sarah and I are thankful that God has been so good to us. We have made a lot of progress on the house and have had a blast doing it. This past week we have been doing yard work and getting ready for spring (I think it's already here). The weather has been gorgeous- sunny and in the 60s and 70s- and the flowers have started growing. This weekend we finished our fence. We had several sections missing when we bought the house so that had to be replaced. Now Carina can run free in the back yard and doesn't have to be cooped up in her cage while we're at work.

2006-03-01T17:05:00.000-05:00

Sarah and I in Charleston, SC. July 2005

My venture into blogging

2006-03-01T16:08:00.000-05:00

I got this idea from my long-time friend Lana Swaffer (we go way back to crazy graveyard shifts at Bob Jones) who has a blog here: http://shadowmedic.blogspot.com/ . I am going to try to start putting pictures on here as well as on snapfish.com since you won't have to log in to visit this page and I can type in detailed descriptions of the pictures.

Well, let's see how well this works.